John Laurinaitis As C.M. Punk? AWESOME
RAW is in Chicago tonight, so C.M. Punk’s music hit to start the show. But alas, it was John Laurinaitis, doing the complete Punk entrance and all! Classic! Laurinaitis called himself Mr. Excitement and he did that to honor C.M. Punk. Cult of Personality hit again, and this time it was C.M. Punk to a huge pop. Punk said if he didn’t know any better Laurinaitis was trying to antagonize him. Punk asked what was stopping him from kicking Ace in the face. Laurinaitis said he is his boss and he can fire him. Laurinaitis said since it is the holiday season, Punk can get the night off. Laurinaits said HA, see I can be unpredictable. Punk mocked him for that. Laurinaitis said he gives the WWE Universe what they want. He said Punk will be in a Gauntlet Match tonight, and if one of the three men pin Punk, they get a WWE Title match next week. Punk asked what he gets when he beats all three men. Punk said they should get a fourth match if he wins, and that match be Punk vs Laurinaitis. Laurinaitis said that Punk doesn’t want any of this. Laurinaitis said it wasn’t good business for him to beat the WWE Champion. Punk asked Chicago and they cheered. Laurinaitis said it was on. Great opening segment. John Laurinaitis has become great as a character. Him and Punk click so well. Survey Says: 5/5
The cryptic video interrupted Punk in the ring. It said the force is coming next week. Do you understand?
I Don’t Dig It Sucka!
Booker T vs Cody Rhodes. They replayed last week’s Smackdown altercation with Booker T singing, causing Cody to lose to Zack Ryder. Cody worked over Booker in the corner, but Booker reversed an Irish whip and caught him with an elbow. A suplex got Booker a two. Booker went for a Scissors Kick, but Cody moved and hit a swinging neckbreaker. Cody gave Booker a knee and dumped Booker to the outside heading into the break.
Back from break Cody had Booker in an armbreaker that Booker fought out of. Cody caught Booker with a kick. Cody then applied a chinlock that Booker again got out of. Booker telegraphed a duck and Cody caught him with a punch. Both men started exchanging punches, but Cody hit a dropkick for two. Cody applied an arm twist/chin lock combo. As Booker fought out Cody hit a knee to the ribs. Cody charged but Booker caught him with an elbow and kick. Booker hit some clotheslines then a side slam. Cody again ducked a Scissors Kick and got a roll up for two. Cody hit an enzugari kick for two. Booker countered a Cross Rhodes with a kick. Booker finally hit the Scissors Kick for the win. It was a decent match, but to see Cody lose to one move after dominating the match seemed a bit flat. Booker should have mounted more offense. Still a good match, then Booker T did a Spinarooni after. Survey Says: 3/5
Zack Ryder said everything he’s done was possible because of John Cena. Cena said Ryder did it all by himself. Blah Blah Blah. Jerry Lawler announced the three opponents for C.M. Punk: Jack Swagger, Dolph Ziggler, and Mark Henry. Referee Scott Armstrong told Big Show John Laurinaitis needed to see him now.
Laurinaitis got off the phone with Brodus Clay. Apparently he is debuting next week. Big Show came in and they replayed Otunga getting punched by Show last week. Show said he could beat Otunga with one arm tied behind his back. Laurinaitis made that mach. Show said a giant with one arm tied behind his back is still better then a lawyer with no testicles.
Jack Swagger and Dolph Ziggler were arguing backstage. Vickie said it didn’t matter who won, as long as someone brought the Title back to her stable. Mark Henry came in and said “Excuse Me” and left.
Time to Give Ryder the Obligatory “Girl Interested in Him” Storyline
Mixed tag match Zack Ryder/Eve vs Tyson Kidd and Natalya. Ryder worked over Kidd which caused Kidd to tag in Natalya. Eve got worked over then tagged in Ryder, who took it to Kidd before Kidd caught him with a kick. Ryder fought back, then him and Edge did a double Broski kick. Ryder hit the Rough Ryder for the win. Just a way to get Ryder a victory in between feuds. Survey Says: 2/5
How Did We Get from Cena Calling Out Kane to No Kane?
Cena came out to a “mixed” reaction. Cena said he knows he isn’t Chicago’s favorite son. Cena brought up some of the stuff that happened in Chicago. Pandered to Chicago blah blah blah. Cena called out Kane, but got Miz instead. Miz said 2011 was the Year of Miz, but him and Cena still had some loose ends to clean up. Miz said everyone says the only reason he won at Wrestlemania was because of Rock. Miz said he wants the last thing of 2011 to be him standing over Cena. Cena said to shut up and just get a referee out here for a match.
Cena had control early with some mat work and a head lock. A loud “Lets Go Cena/Cena Sucks” chant broke out. Miz rolled out of the ring and said everyone was chanting the wrong name. Miz said he main evented Wrestlemania and is a winner. He’s walking out of this crappy city with his head held high. Miz got counted out. He started his catch phrase, but R-Truth came out and a brawl ensued. Truth took it to Miz. Truth said he could finish all of this now but he isn’t going to. He compared RAW to Christmas and said that he was going to wait to finish all of this. So we transitioned from Cena calling out Kane to R-Truth returning and taking out Miz in a segment where we don’t know who the face is. That was a bit weird. Survey Says: 2/5
Next was Big Show/Otunga. Show’s hand started to come untied right when Mark Henry’s music hit. The ref called for the bell. Henry punched Show, but Daniel Bryan came out. Henry escaped a chokeslam, so Show ended up chokeslamming Otunga.
Alberto del Rio came out in a wheelchair. He said 2011 has ended in tragedy. Del Rio said he completely tore his groin. The Bellas came out and argued over who was throwing Del Rio a party when he recovered. Del Rio told them to leave. Del Rio said he will return as vicious as ever, and he will become WWE Champion again, and it doesn’t matter who is in his way. Sucks to lose Del Rio for an extended period of time. Same with Ricardo.
John Laurinaitis IS A Man of the People
Gauntlet match time with C.M. Punk and Jack Swagger starting. Punk worked over Swagger with some kicks before Swagger countered with a shot to the ribs. Swagger applied a hip lock. Swagger then worked over Punk in the corner with some knees. Punk went down. Swagger went for the Swagger Bomb, but Punk got up and went for a GTS but Swagger countered out. Punk caught Swagger with a kick to the head for the pin. As Dolph Ziggler came to the ring, Swagger took out his left leg from behind and worked it over. Back from break Ziggler was working on Punk’s left leg. Ziggler hit a dropkick for two but went right back to the leg. Ziggler countered a neckbreaker attempt by Punk and went back to the leg with a half boston crab. Punk got to the ropes. Ziggler charged but Punk got him with a kick and fought back. Punk kicked Dolph in the back then a kick to the head for two. Punk hit the running knee and went for the GTS, but Swagger distracted the ref and Vickie grabbed his leg. Punk connected on a kick to the head. John Laurinaitis came out and took the mic, distracting the referee from making the count. He ordered the ref to throw out Vickie and Swagger. He then told Punk that he would not face him tonight. This distraction allowed Ziggler to hit the ZigZag for the win. Ziggler gets a WWE Title match next week. Great heel work continues by Laurinaitis, and Punk/Ziggler next week should be awesome. Survey Says: 4/5
Can You Say Backfire?
Kane came out to answer John Cena. He said what everyone sees is what he really is. He said everyone is living a lie. John Cena interrupted. Kane made pyro come out and almost kill Cena. Kane said he made people rise above hate, and that is a fallacy. Kane said it is ok to hate. Kane said why rise above it when it is alright to hate. Kane said everyone hates their miserable existence. Kane said hate is what drives us. Kane said once you embrace hate, you become free. Denying it makes you weaker. Kane said the last thing Cena will hear in 2011 are the words that eat away at him inside: Cena Sucks. The crowd went into its traditional chant as the show ended. That came off really bad and backfired in the WWE’s face. Survey Says: 1/5
That was a decent show but the ending totally just bombed in the WWE’s face. Why take away any mystique Kane had left and make him do such a terrible promo, then actually think he could lead a smart Chicago crowd into a “Cena Sucks” chant right after C.M. Punk lost. Is Vince really losing his mind? Everything with C.M. Punk was good on the show, as was John Laurinaitis. You can’t take away any of that. The Cody Rhodes/Booker T match was alright. I guess the WWE wants us to decide who to root for between Miz and R-Truth. I’m giving the show a 5 for everything involving C.M. Punk and John Laurinaitis. The ending killed the show pretty well though.
Next week’s RAW should be fun with C.M. Punk vs Dolph Ziggler and the apparent debut of Chris Jericho.
NFL Review up tomorrow.
And remember kids, shooting pyro at your annoying friends is never a good idea. I mean, if it can’t stop John Cena do you really think it is any good?
Until Next Time,
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