JC’s Top Rope Report: The RAW Truth Review for 12.23.13

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It’s the Christmas version of RAW. Don’t expect a lot of storyline development here. But I’m here so the least you could do is follow along with my live results. Plus, its Good Santa vs Bad Santa: ONCE IN A LIFETIME!!!

Giving The Gift Of Good Wrestling!

RAW started with The Authority and Kane walking to the ring, with their own elf. Triple H welcomed everyone. He said it was a special time of the year. He talked about making the employees volunteer at soup kitchens and that there is no place they would rather be than here. They talked about Bad Santa vs Good Santa, with some dramatic theme music. They also announced The Wyatt Family vs Daniel Bryan, Cody Rhodes and Goldust. And finally, The Shield vs John Cena, CM Punk and Big E Langston.

Randy Orton then came out. Orton wished everyone a Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays. He thanked Steph and HHH for all of their support. Orton said he is in a giving mood and decided to give The Authority a Christmas gift. Orton gave the gift of himself and Kane wished everyone a good night and then set the posts on fire.

It’s a Jingle Bells match. The Total Divas vs Kaitlyn, Tamina, Alicia Fox, Summer Rae, Aksana and Vickie Guerrero. The Funkadactyls hit a double leg split leg drop on Alicia. Vickie tagged in and ran her reindeer antlers into Brie Bella. Eventually, all the Divas ended up in the ring. The Total Divas ended up forming a Rockette line and they clotheslined the other Divas one-by-one. Natalya ended up making Aksana submit with the Sharpshooter. Best part of the match was A.J. ripping on it doing commentary.

Sin Cara vs Curtis Axel. The two exchanged some early mat wrestling. Sin Cara hit a hurricarrana sending Axel to the outside. Axel was able to knock Sin Cara off the apron, then put him spine first into the ringpost. Sin Cara escaped an armbar but Axel hit a dropkick. Sin Cara escaped a bear hug and sent Axel to the outside. He then hit a Swanton over the ropes onto Axel. Sin Cara hit a clothesline off the top then his springboard elbow for two. Axel was able to recover and hit a clothesline for two. Sin Cara recovered and hit a neckbreaker followed by a Swanton for the win.

A Batista promo aired. I bet that wasn’t planned before the weekend.

The Wyatts Could Make A Good Traveling Santas Group

First six man tag of the evening. Cody Rhodes and Erik Rowan started. Rowan landed an early kick. Cody escaped a backdrop and he hit a dropkick then tagged in Goldust. Goldust landed a couple of uppercuts then tagged in Bryan. Bryan landed multiple kicks until Rowan shoved him away. Goldust applied a headlock but Rowan backed him into his corner and tagged in Harper. Goldust moved out of the way of a Harper charge and landed some punches. Cody came in and connected on a dropkick. Bryan came back in and landed more kicks until Harper caught him with a right hand. Bryan ducked a Harper charge and he got caught in the tree of woe position. More kicks from Bryan as Harper took a breather and they went to commercial.

Back from break The Wyatts had control of Cody Rhodes. Cody tried escaped a Harper headlock but he ate a headbutt. But Cody was able to hit a clothesline and tag in Goldust. He hit a clothesline and his trademark uppercut followed by ten corner punches. He hit a hurricarrana but was distracted by Bray, allowing Harper to connect on a boot. Bray came in and hit a splash in the corner. Harper came in but he missed on an elbow. Harper knocked Bryan and Cody off the apron and then tagged in Rowan. Rowan landed some punches then applied The Claw. Harper came in, but Goldust hit a Canadian Destoryer on him and tagged in Bryan. Rowan came back in. Bryan hit two dropkicks in the corner and a dropkick to the knee. Bryan landed multiple kicks followed by a kick to the head. Bryan hit a headbutt off the top then went after Bray Wyatt. Bryan chased him on the outside but he ran into a Rowan shoulder tackle on the outside.

Luke Harper caught Bryan with a shoulder tackle back from break. The Wyatts continued to dominate Bryan. Bryan caught Rowan with a boot to the face then a tornado DDT. Bryan tagged in Cody, who caught Harper with a missile dropkick. He caught Rowan with the Disaster Kick then a moonsault onto Harper. Bray took out Cody, but Bryan caught Bray with a missile dropkick. He hit the Flying Goat to the outside and went at Bray. Rowan took him out but Goldust took out Rowan. In the ring, Cody hit Harper with a Disaster Kick but Bray made a blind tag. He caught Cody with a clothesline then hit Sister Abigail to pick up the win.

After the match, The Wyatts took out all three members of the face team.

Santino and The Great Khali won a holiday sing off. Drew McIntyre and Jinder Mahal attacked them but Xaiver Woods and R-Truth helped out. At least I got to see Renee Young during the segment.

If That’s A Scott Hall Picture Wrapped Up, Show gets a 578922

But alas, it is an Intercontinental Title shot. Why is the present wrapped up then? Its Fandango vs Dolph Ziggler. Both men tried early to grab the present off the pole. Fandango took out Ziggler with a clothesline. Dolph stopped him from climbing the pole and threw him into the opposite corner. Ziggler went up but Fandango stopped him. Ziggler hit a Fameasser. Ziggler climbed up but slipped on the ropes, then Fandango knocked him to the outside. Both men climbed up the corner, but Fandango caught Ziggler with a kick to the head. Ziggler recovered and crotched Fandango on the ropes. Ziggler had his hand on the gift, but Fandango slammed Ziggler’s head into the pole and he fell off onto the steps. Fandango grabbed the present to win.

The Prime Time Players vs The Usos. Titus started with a shoulder tackle followed by a slam. Darren Young came in and was suplexed onto an Uso. The Usos took control after a clothesline. They each took their turn hitting a couple armdrags. Darren Young started fighting back with a Northern Lights suplex followed by an elbow. The Usos made a blind tag. They hit a Samoan Drop followed by a butt splash. Titus was dumped to the outside and The Usos hit their finisher for the win.

ONCE IN A LIFETIME!

Its’ Good Santa Mark Henry vs Bad Santa Damien Sandow. Henry threw Sandow down then revealed a toilet under a box and shoved Sandow’s face into it. Sandow tried using a fire extinguisher but he couldn’t operate it. Henry did and used it. They went up the stage where Sandow used a candy cane decoration on Henry. Sandow destroyed the gifts so Henry hit him with a headbutt. They made their way back to the ring. Sandow was unable to use the fire extinguisher again. Henry did, then hit the World’s Strongest Slam for the win. After the match, Henry shoved a plate of cupcakes into Sandow’s face.

Los Matadores defeated The Real Americans. El Torrito speared Cesaro in the mid-section at one point. Nothing much to see here.

Ryback defeated Kofi Kingston after the Meathook Clothesline and Shell Shocked.

Bad News Barrett said all the money he collected today wasn’t going to charity, but to his own pocket. What a heel!

Don’t We All Want Shield Six Man Tags As A Christmas Gift?

Main event time. Cena and Ambrose started. Cena took him down with a shoulder tackle and Ambrose immediately tagged in Rollins. Cena ducked a clothesline and went into CENA MODE early but Rollins bailed on the Five Knuckle Shuffle. Rollins regrouped and tagged in Reigns. Both men shoved each other but Reigns eventually caught Cena with a Samoan Drop as The Shield took control into commercial.

The Shield still had control back from break. Rollins hit a neckbreaker off the second rope. Cena tried fighting back but Ambrose locked in a sleeper. Cena was able to get to his feet and make the tag to CM Punk while still in the hold. Punk hit a dive onto Ambrose to the outside. He hit his neckbreaker, high knee, clothesline combo. Rollins distracted Punk and Ambrose dumped him to the outside. Ambrose hit a suplex on the outside. Now The Shield took their turns working over Punk. Punk eventually fought out of a key lock and hit a backdrop on Rollins. He tried making the tag but Reigns took out Cena on the outside and Ambrose tagged in to prevent a tag. Punk caught Ambrose with a kick to the head but Reigns tagged in. Punk, however, moved out of the way of a splash and tagged in Big E. Big E took out Rollins and hit a double splash on Rollins and Ambrose. Ambrose went for a pin on Big E but Cena broke it up. Reigns hit a spear on Cena. Punk took him out and then dumped Rollins to the outside. Big E hit the Big Ending on Ambrose, but Reigns and Rollins broke up the pin and the ref called for the bell.

After the match The Shield tried hitting the triple powerbomb on Big E, but Cena and Punk broke it up and the faces hit their finishers on The Shield as they stood tall to close the show.

FINAL THOUGHTS

I’m not really going to give this show a final score. Look, it is Christmas time. The one time a year where the WWE abandons storylines for one week and just throw out a show for us to enjoy. You aren’t under any obligation to watch it. The show is pre-taped. You know what to expect going in even if you didn’t read the spoilers. We have a full month until the Royal Rumble. We had two very good six man tag team matches. Yeah, everything else kind of felt like a house show. But like I said, this is the holiday season and if the WWE wants to have one week where they put a show on like this, I’m not going to complain. And quite frankly, if you want to complain about a show being Christmas themed during the Christmas season, then you take this stuff way too seriously. The show is what it is. A feel good type of show for the WWE’s audience during the Christmas season. Live with it, move on, and get ready for Wrestlemania season.

Have a good holiday season everyone.

Until Next Time,

Justin C

Follow Me On Twitter @JCWonka

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