Random Thoughts: WWE Raw 12.23.13 (Can Sexual Chocolate Save Christmas?)

The SaGood Santa vs Bad Santa 2013

{Ed. Note: Happy Holidays to those readers who celebrate. In an effort of full disclosure, I completely underestimated the excitement & joy a three-year old feels around this time and the word “exhausted” can’t even begin to describe the shape I’m in. I apologize if my Thoughts are briefer than normal but right now my main struggle is keeping my eyes open.} 

<- “Good Santa” vs “Bad Santa” might actually put me down for a KO.

<- What a bitch it must be getting through security with those two titles. Randy Orton’s bus has paid for itself by now.

Completely Random Divas Match Where They’re Dressed Like Slutty Elves

<- They needed 12 women for this Divas match and they needed to Vickie Guerrero to participate. Now that the tag team division is soaring, maybe it’s time for the executives to turn their attention to the Divas division

<- Holy crap, that match was worse than usual. Eyes. Are. Trying. To. Close.

Sin (Hunico) Cara vs Curtis (Michael McGillicutty) Axel

<- Trying to keep my mind sharp (and awake) by adding those original names.

<- The new Sin Cara even  gets promo time?! I’d LOVE to know how Triple H is spinning this.

<- I’d prefer to see Sami Zayn debut on the main roster in a tag team with someone like Tyson Kidd but the “new” Sin Cara has definitely been on a roll. Let Sami do the talking and you might get a pretty decent set of “high-flyers” with a Zayn/Cara team.

Batista Promo

<- Welp, that was definitely better than trying to ignore the rumors floating around. I’m a little upset that he isn’t a surprise entrant in the Royal Rumble. Debuting a week before helps to set up any sort of story though.

The Brotherhood & Daniel Bryan vs The Wyatt Family

<- The WWE isn’t the “Land of 1,000 Dances” anymore but the “Land of the Six-Man Tag Match”.

<- A few years ago I could absolutely see the WWE booking Daniel Bryan as a part of the Wyatt Family and it failing miserably.

<- They’re doing a great job at keeping The Brotherhood strong but still putting over the Wyatt Family as a legitimate threat.

 Dolph Ziggler vs Fandango

 <- 2 very good talents but 3 weeks in a row they’re booked against one another. Variety is the spice of life, WWE.

<- Solid mid-card match where, once again, two mid-card stars busted their butts for a #1 contendership at the Intercontinental Championship.

The Usos vs The PrimeTime Players

<- The Usos’ war dance is a bit less impressive when there’s fake snow, presents and Christmas trees behind them.

<- Holiday antics with the Rudolph nose and now we’re moving onto “Santa” vs “Santa”. I am legitimately slapping myself to stay away right now.

“Bad Santa” Damien Sandow vs “Good Santa” Mark Henry

<- While I am watching Damien Sandow hit Mark Henry with a fake candy cane, my wife and I are also watching American Horror Story: Asylum. Talk about one extreme to another.

The Real Americans vs Los Matadores

<- All I want for Christmas is for Cesaro to “Cesaro Swing” little El Torito.

<- I remember nothing from this match.

Kofi Kingston vs Ryback

<- Awww hell! I can’t stay awake and now I have to sit through Kofi & Ryback? Willpower. Willpower. Willpower!

<- Absolutely legit, my wife just woke me up. I was in the middle of having Raw playing through my headphones on my computer in my ear, typing an email to Widro on my phone & watching American Horror Story AND I STILL couldn’t stay awake! Wow…

CM Punk, John Cena & Big E Langston vs The Shield

<- When was the last time a member of The Shield wrestled a single’s match? Ambrose four months ago? Time to do a little more work separately, I believe.

<- Nice to see Big E Langston get the hot tag instead of the typical Punk offense.

<- Another typical 6-man tag team match. The novelty of it has lost its luster and it’s time to see what The Shield members can TRULY do on their own. Either way, the 3 on 3 format has definitely run its course and while its nice to see a lot of talent featured throughout the show, people need to make the sacrifice for a better product.

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