I Don’t Think Bray Was Ever Hot For Teacher
The Wyatts interrupted the WWE intro. They appeared in the ring with Bray singing “He’s Got The Whole World In His Hands.” (Sorry I got interrupted by someone ringing my door bell so I missed a couple minutes of the promo.) When I returned Bray was talking about some teacher that said he knew he was evil. He said somewhere that teacher is rotting in a retirement home and he is the man of a 1000 Truths. He said his ends justify his means but the teacher lady was right, he is evil. He is the necessary evil that balances everything out in this world. He said he is hope that people get behind. He said at Payback he will be the last man standing. But tonight Luke Harper will put John Cena down. Cena’s music hit so Rowan and Harper went to stop him on the ramp. But Cena came through the crowd and hit the AA on Bray then escaped.
The Divas Should Study Paul Heyman To Learn Acting Talent
Paul Heyman was in the ring with Cesaro. Heyman said they were the stars and everyone in the audience was wannabees and they should worship the ground he walks on. Heyman started talking and the crowd mimmicked him. He then laid on the ground and said he wasn’t the Queen dying, he was The Undertaker at Wrestlemania. He said tonight his client will beat the United States Champion.
The match started with a couple lock-ups. Cesaro slapped Sheamus. Sheamus took him down with a double axe handle. He went for his ten punches but Heyman pulled Cesaro away. Cesaro was chased around the ring by Sheamus. Cesaro caught him with a boot then an uppercut. Sheamus blocked a hip toss and then hit a clothesline followed by his punches. Sheamus chased Cesaro again. Back in the ring Cesaro dropped Sheamus on the ropes. Cesaro landed some upper cuts. Sheamus reversed Cesaro then hit a knee in the corner followed by a battering ram over the ropes. Cesaro ducked a Sheamus charge and he went flying over the ropes into commercial.
Back from break Cesaro landed some uppercuts then went to a sleeper hold. Cesaro then hit his from the apron suplex. Cesaro charged at Sheamus but Sheamus caught him and hit the Irish Curse backbreaker. Sheamus hit the running high knee followed by a rolling senton for two. Sheamus tossed Cesaro hard into the corner. Sheamus went to the top but Cesaro caught him with an uppercut mid air for two. Cesaro lifted Sheamus but Sheamus caught him with a clothesline. Both men exchanged punches but Sheamus caught Cesaro with a powerslam. Heyman got on the apron and threw his suitcoat in the ring. It distracted Sheamus. Cesaro came from behind and hit a German suplex and scored the three count.
After the match Sheamus offered a handshake, but Cesaro declined.
Why Do You Wear Skull Caps During The Summer?
It’s a Beat the Clock Challenge. Best time gets an IC Title Shot. First up is Ryback vs Big E. Ryback backed Big E into the corner but Big E bounced right back with a clothesline. Big E landed some punches then a shot to the gut but Ryback came back with a clothesline. Big E caught Ryback and hit a belly-to-belly suplex. Ryback took out Big E with a chop block. Ryback dominated with a handful of punches. Big E caught Ryback with another belly-to-belly but Ryback came right back with a spinebuster. Ryback hit a Meathook Clothesline and tried three pin attempts but Big E kicked out. Big E countered a powerbomb attempt and hit a clothesline, followed by the Big Ending for the win.
WINNER: Big E
Before R-Truth and one of the Funkadactyls could face Fandango and Layla, Summer Rae came out. She kissed Fandango then brawled with Layla.
Stephanie Doing The YES Entrance? Well, Her “Assets” Make It Pretty Enjoyable
Stephanie McMahon came out to Daniel Bryan’s music. She said Daniel Bryan under went successful neck surgery this past Thursday. She said Bryan has inspired millions of people around the world. She said that Daniel Bryan is your Champion and he knows we need an active Champion. She said she has some bad news, then played clips of Barrett saying it. She said she is contemplating stripping Daniel Bryan of the WWE Championship and awarding it to Kane, Bad News Barrett, Batista or her husband. She said she won’t strip Daniel Bryan of the WWE Championship, but she hopes Bryan shows up at RAW next Monday to surrender the WWE Championship in person.
Rusev made quick work of Heath Slater after taking out the rest of 3MB as well.
The Shield cut a promo. Ambrose said that it sounds like Evolution is afraid of The Shield. Reigns asked if last week was their best shot, because if it was, they are in trouble. Rollins said Batista couldn’t end his career two weeks ago and tonight he won’t make any mistakes.
Alberto del Rio vs RVD in another Beat the Clock match. RVD went for some early pinfall attempts before Del Rio caught him with a kick followed by another kick to the head sending RVD to the outside. Del Rio went to a headlock but RVD escaped and hit a clothesline followed by a legdrop. Del Rio countered with a back stabber. RVD went for the cross armbreaker but RVD countered with a modified Rolling Thunder. RVD went for the Five Star but Del Rio moved. Del Rio hit an enziguri kick to the back of the head. RVD ducked another kick to the head and rolled up Del Rio to pick up the win. Sloppy match.
WINNER: Rob Van Dam
The First Ever Time Keeper With No Pants
Seth Rollins came to the ring. Triple H came out and said he was the Special Guest Ring Announcer and Randy Orton was the special guest time keeper. After Batista came out, Seth Rollins introduced Dean Ambrose and Roman Reigns as special guest commentators.
The match started and Batista took out Rollins with a quick clothesline. Rollins caught Batista with a knee in the corner then landed some punches in the corner. Rollins landed some kicks but Batista pulled Rollins to the outside. Back in the ring, Rollins landed an enziguri kick to the head. Back from break Batista tossed Rollins into the steps. Back in the ring Batista drop kicked Rollins from the apron to the outside. Batista went to a headlock back in the ring. Rollins escaped with a jawbreaker and landed some chops but Batista caught Rollins with an elbow. Batista went for a superplex but Rollins knocked him off, jumped off and hit a neckbreaker.
Rollins then ran right into a boot from Batista. Rollins caught Batista with a kick then a spinning neckbreaker. Rollins hit a couple of splashes followed by a dropkick sending Batista to the outside. Rollins connected with a dive to through the ropes. Orton distracted Rollins and all four men on the outside had a stare down. This allowed Batista to hit a spinebuster. Rollins caught Batista with a kick to the face then a knee off the top for two. Rollins went to the top, but Orton distracted the ref so HHH pushed Rollins off the top. All four men brawled on the outside. Rollins went to hit a dive but HHH caught him with a right hand, causing a DQ. Batista then hit a Spear on Rollins. Ambrose countered a Pedigree by dumping HHH on the announce table. Reigns then hit a Spear on Batista. Evolution retreated.
WINNER Via DQ: Seth Rollins
Women Be Crazy
Paige vs Alicia Fox. Alicia caught Paige with a quick kick to the face. But Paige came right back with one of her own followed by a couple headbutts. Fox went to the to the outside and slammed Paige into the barricade. Back in the ring Fox slammed Paige’s face into the mat a few times. Fox went to a headlock but Paige countered with the Paige Turner but Fox kicked out. Fox then caught Paige with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker then threw Paige into the post. Fox pinned Paige to pick up the win.
WINNER: Alicia Fox
After the match Fox celebrated by hugging the ref, then taking Jerry Lawler’s crown and walking on the barricade with it. She then spilled a Coke all over herself.
Bad News For All
Mark Henry vs Dolph Ziggler in the final Beat the Clock Challenge. Henry dominated the match early on. Ziggler ended up catching Henry with an elbow in the corner followed by a Fameasser for two. Henry ended up tossing Ziggler back to the outside. But Ziggler came back in and hit a dropkick followed by another. Ziggler went to the top but Henry caught him and hit a powerslam for two. Henry then went for the World’s Strongest Slam but Ziggler countered and hit the Zig Zag. He wasn’t able to recover in time to make the pin though.
RVD appeared on stage, but Bad News Barrett took him out from behind. Barrett had some bad news. He said that is that he has to face him at Payback. He said the English have set the time for everyone to use around the world. And at Payback, there is no way that Englishmen is going to lose to a Yank. He then gloated while the old British Bulldog theme played.
All Gimmicks Are Over In England
Adam Rose came out to get interviewed. It was basically a party in the ring. He said he wanted Zebby and Swaggy to loosen up and have some fun. The bunny started dancing until Swagger and Zeb came out. Zeb said that they were a problem in his country, him and all these Woodstock rejects. Zeb said Rose fit in a lot better in England with these freaks then he does in America. Zeb said he doesn’t like getting embarrassed. He asked Rose’s people to get out of the ring and Swagger to get out of the ring, and they could settle things like men. Swagger then sneak attacked Rose but Rose ended up getting the upper hand and sending Swagger to the outside.
Is This A Re-Run?
Its John Cena with The Usos in his corner against Luke Harper with Bray and Erik Rowan in his corner. Cena came on strong early with a bulldog and boot to the face, but Harper moved out of the way of a Cena charge in the corner. Harper had control back from break. He caught Cena with a boot then did the Alligator Roll headlock followed by a suplex for two. Cena recovered and went for the Five Knuckle Shuffle but Harper poppped up and hit a German suplex. Harper charged at Cena but Cena moved and Harper went over the top. Cena then connected on the Five Knuckle Shuffle and went for the AA, but Harper countered with a faceplant.
Harper then ducked a Cena clothesline and hit a hurricarrana followed by a dropkick. He then hit a dive to the outside on Cena. Back in the ring Cena caught a charging Harper with a boot then hit a Tornado DDT for two. Cena hit a hurricarrana of his own but Harper popped right back up with a superkick to the face. Harper then connected on a neckbreaker. But Harper took too long and Cena came right back with a clothesline. Cena rolled through a pin attempt and applied the STF, but Harper got to the ropes. Rowan came in the ring but one Uso took him out then hit a dive on Rowan and Harper. Bray caught the other Uso with Sister Abigail then hit the second Uso with one. Harper hit the Michinoku Driver on Cena but he kicked out. Cena hit the AA but Rowan interfered and caused the DQ.
WINNER via DQ: John Cena
After the match Bray hit the Sister Abigail on Cena. They went up the ramp where Rowan hit a Fallaway Slam and Bray hit Sister Abigail on Cena on the stage. He sang to close the show as Harper counted to ten as if it was a Last Man Standing Match.
WHAT I LIKED
Rollins/Batista: This was a good match and much better than the one these two had on Smackdown a few weeks ago. Rollins continues to impress in the ring. And Batista did well in the match too. Add in Dean Ambrose on commentary and it made the match even better. Of course, the constant brawling between these two every week is kind of getting a bit redundant. Something has to happen to change things up in this feud.
Alicia Fox/Paige: Hey, it may be a bit different. But I’m liking this little bit of edge that Alicia Fox has added to her character. She feels like a whole new Diva. And it is a nice little mini feud to have going on in the Divas Division. Much better than anything Total Divas related.
Cesaro/Sheamus: A bit too short to materialize to something really good, but it was a nice little match. I’m sure these two are saving the good stuff for a likely match at Payback. Sheamus gets way too much unnecessary heat from the Internet. He’s a good worker in the ring and hopefully once he turns heel will be more accepted.
Adam Rose Segment: This is one segment where I actually liked the England crowd tonight. Hopefully the crowd affect carries over from England and helps Adam Rose’s gimmick in the States. And I actually liked the segment overall. It’s something that should have been done last week, but I get why they might have saved it for England.
WHAT I DIDN’T LIKE
Cena/Wyatt Feud: As you can tell by the Title I put on the main event, this stuff is just getting repetitive at this point. The feud needs to end more than the Shield/Evolution one. It just seems like nothing is changing week after week. There are only so many different ways you can present this feud. The Harper/Cena match was good, but it is somewhat dragged down by this never ending feud. Both men need new opponents after Payback.
Beat The Clock Challenge: Maybe it’s just me but I’m not a fan of this concept. I couldn’t tell you exactly why. Maybe it’s because I’m a fan of tournaments more. Or just straight up #1 Contenders matches. I was just never a fan of this format. It also exposes how slow ref’s counts are for count outs, as evident in the Ziggler/Henry match. Plus we had a really bad RVD/Del Rio match. Both guys looked off and appeared to be going through the motions.
State of the WWE Title: So basically, the WWE’s hyped up announcement was that you should tune in next week to see what happens with the Titles. That’s the kind of stuff that could really piss off a lot of fans. I didn’t like it. I know it’s a way to get people to tune in on a normally down Memorial Day episode, but I hate false advertising like that.
I thought the show was okay. But again, the WWE just seems stuck in a stagnant state right now. Nothing is changing and I feel like this is going to be the case until after Payback. Hopefully leading up to Money in the Bank some things will start to change. Because the WWE definitely needs that right now. I’m giving the show a 4. A couple of good matches but nothing else to really add to things.
Until Next Time,
Follow Me On Twitter @JCWonka