JC’s Top Rope Report: The RAW Truth Review For 8.11.14

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Hip Hop Advocating Jew. T-Shirt That

Paul Heyman and Brock Lesnar came out to start the show. He said in six days he will be the advocate for the new WWE Champion Brock Lesnar. Heyman said his client has asked him to come out tonight and sell SummerSlam to the Cenation. Heyman said bad things happen to good people when you step into the ring with Brock Lesnar. Heyman said those who don’t learn from history live to repeat it. Heyman then showed pics of Lesnar ending The Streak at Wrestlemania. He said that he told everyone it would happen and they shouldn’t have been surprised. He then brought up Lesnar destroying Rock and Hogan back in the day. Heyman told the Cenation to watch SummerSlam, because after it they won’t be able to see John Cena around here anymore. Heyman said even though Cena won their previous match, Cena lost the fight. Heyman said Brock was still battling diverticulitis at the time of that loss, but this Sunday Brock is 100%. Heyman said this Sunday will be a Shakespearean Tragedy. Heyman said they aren’t from West Newbury, and they can’t hip hop like you. Heyman said he is just Brock’s advocating Jew. Heyman said Cena says his time is now, but Brock said his calendar is out of date. Heyman went on to rhyme and rap. It was great. I couldn’t keep up writing it. Heyman said this is Brock’s house now. He said we are now all his servants. Heyman said they are leaving the house to go get dinner, but after they are coming back home.

Super Roman

Roman Reigns came to the ring. Kane came out and said he is back as The Authority’s Director of Operations. He said last week beating Kane was like beating two men. So The Authority wanted to see if he could actually do that. Reigns opponents were Rybaxel. Reigns took down Axel with a shoulder tackle. Axel yelled at Reigns and called him a coward. Reigns shoved him down. Ryabck wanted in. He landed some quick blows but Reigns came back with a clothesline out of the corner. Axel distracted Reigns, but he blocked an attempted suplex and landed one of his own on Ryback. Reigns landed some corner punches but Ryback picked Reigns up and hit a powerbomb into commercial.

Back from break Reigns caught Ryback with an elbow and sent him out of the ring. Curtis Axel tried to get after Reigns but he was thwarted. Ryback took him out from behind and shoved him into the post. Both men continued to do it, which caused the referee to ring the bell. They continued their attack in the ring before Reigns started a comeback. Reigns hit a Superman Punch on both men, and followed it up with two spears.

WINNER via DQ: Roman Reigns

Reigns was interviewed about his match with Orton. He said when you knock the teeth out of a viper, it becomes nothing more than a worthless worm. He said he never stole anything from Randy Orton, but at SummerSlam he is taking everything.

Backstage, Kane told Orton that he has a match with Sheamus tonight.

Best Present Ever

Seth Rollins vs Rob Van Dam. RVD hit a spinning heel kick in the corner followed by a standing moonsault for two. RVD went for some punches in the corner but Rollins escaped and hit some kicks. Rollins went to a headlock. RVD escaped and went for a roll up but got two. RVD caught Rollins with an elbow followed by a thrust kick off the second rope. RVD knocked Rollins into the barricade on the outside. He put Rollins on the barricade and went for a spinning leg drop off the apron but Rollins moved and RVD’s leg hit the barricade.

Back from break RVD caught Rollins with a kick to the head and a splash. RVD hit a crescent kick followed by a split leg moonsault for two. RVD went to catapult Rollins in the corner but Rollins held on to the ropes. He then hit the curb stomp for the win.

WINNER: Seth Rollins

After the match Rollins walked up the ramp. There were a bunch of present boxes set up on the stage for Hulk Hogan’s birthday. Rollins looked at one of the life sized ones then laughed it off and said it was ridiculous that he was in there. Rollins went to leave but Ambrose popped out of the box and attacked Rollins. Rollins ended up running off. Ambrose said this Sunday he’s going to get his money’s worth when he beats Rollins ass this Sunday.

It’s Officially A Soap Opera

Stephanie McMahon came out. She said as principal owner of the WWE, it is in her best business to provide the best product for everyone. And sometimes, they have to protect everyone and do things that are best for business. She brought up Daniel Bryan and said his physical therapist is here tonight. Steph invited her to the ring and said that she has something to confess. Megan talked about growing to like Daniel and Brie and how he has such an appreciation for the WWE. Megan said she can’t be Bryan’s physical therapist anymore. She said it all happened so innocently, at least at first. Steph asked what happened and she said she had an affair with Daniel Bryan. Steph hugged Megan. Brie came out and confronted Megan. Steph said the wife is always the last to know and that Megan ended every session with “Yes!” Brie slapped Megan then went after Steph. Brie applied the Yes Lock on Steph before agents broke it up. Steph said they aren’t waiting until SummerSlam, they are finishing things tonight.

The Real Americans Explode! Again!

Jack Swagger vs Cesaro. Cesaro connected on a shoulder tackle but missed a stomp. Swagger came back and caught Cesaro and slammed him to the mat. Cesaro moved out of the way of a charge and hit a gut wrench suplex. Cesaro took control and went to an abdominal stretch. Cesaro then went to an armbrar but Swagger backed Cesaro into the corner. Cesaro caught Swagger with a boot. He went to the second rope but Swagger caught Cesaro and hit a belly-to-belly. Cesaro recovered and dropped Swagger on the ropes, then kicked Swagger into the barricade.

Back from break Swagger escaped an abdominal stretch and started a comeback. He hit a Swagger Bomb. Cesaro then caught Swagger with a shot to the throat followed by a boot to the face for two. Cesaro went to the top and hit a back splash for two. Swagger blocked the apron suplex and pulled Cesaaro to the outside and clotheslined him back into the ring. Cesaro countered and tossed Swagger into the air and hit a knee to the gut, followed by an upper cut. Cesaro hit a body stomp but Swagger grabbed the ankle for the Patriot Lock but Cesaro got to the ropes. Cesaro hit an upper cut and went to the top, but Swagger pulled him down and went right into the Patriot Lock. Cesaro tapped.

WINNER: Jack Swagger

After the match, Zeb said that after SummerSlam everyone will remember the sight of the American Flag waving in the air and standing tall. Before Zeb could say We the People, Rusev and Lana appeared on stage and the Russian Flag came down in the ring.

Bray Wyatt and Chris Jericho had a sit down interview earlier. Bray told Michael Cole to leave. Bray told Jericho that he knows about his dreams and wanting to be like his dad and end up a hero. Bray said he never dreamed of being a savior. He said you can only help someone by hurting them in a way, and he’s hurt a lot of people. He said there are no consequences to his actions and he hates everything this world created. He said he’s a monster and he’s coming for Jericho at SummerSlam.

Jericho said he isn’t a savior. He’s a survivor. He said he never knows what Chris Jericho you will get. He said he is going to follow the buzzards and shove them down Bray’s throat. And he is going to be the first person to shut him up, for good.

AJ vs Eva Marie. Paige came out and skipped around the ring, distracting AJ. Eva Marie rolled up AJ to pick up the win. Paige then apologized via a poem. She ended it by saying that she would be skipping out of SummerSlam with the Divas Title. AJ then flipped out and attacked Eva Marie.

I Wonder What The Taxes Are On Brock’s House?

John Cena came out. He said in six days he is apparently going to be conquered by Brock Lesnar if you are to believe Paul Heyman. Cena said this Sunday he is going to get the beating of a lifetime, but he won’t win. Cena said he isn’t laying down for Brock Lesnar. Cena said Lesnar doesn’t deserve the Title. Cena said Lesnar is arrogant, a bully and doesn’t give a damn about anyone but himself. He said everyone backstage knows that. Cena said that he’s heard the cheers and heard the boos. Cena went through all the chants he’s heard. He then said there are a bunch of people who ask when he is going to turn, stop being about the t-shirts and start raising hell. Cena said that happens this Sunday, when he turns into a monster that does everything to keep the Title away from Brock Lesnar. Cena said this isn’t Brock Lesnar’s house, it is the WWE Universe’s house. He said if this is Brock Lesnar’s house, there is a stranger standing in his living room. And he should try to come down there and kick him out. No Lesnar. Cena said Lesnar must have come down with Punk Bitch-itis. Cena said this Sunday, he beats the conqueror and the one.

Brie came out for her match with Steph. But Steph came out and said Megan was pressing charges since Brie slapped her earlier. Brie was arrested.

The Slater Era Continues

Heath Slater vs Dolph Ziggler. Slater landed some early blows. Ziggler escaped a headlock and hit a dropkick. Ziggler missed an elbow and hit a knee drop for two. Slater hit a high kick to the face for two. Slater went to a headlock. Ziggler escaped and started a comeback. He hit the ZigZag on Slater. Miz came on the apron and Ziggler went after him. He beat him up on the outside, but Ziggler was counted out, giving Slater the win.

WINNER via Countout: Heath Slater

After the match Ziggler offered a handshake. Slater went for a kick instead, so Ziggler turned him around and hit a ZigZag.

Well The Crowd Didn’t Turn On This Like Last Time

Sheamus vs Randy Orton. Both men exchanged early blows. Sheamus hit a clothesline. Orton tossed Sheamus into the corner and hit a clothesline. Sheamus caught a charging Orton with a boot and followed it up with a powerslam and knee drop off the top. Sheamus connected on a short clothesline. Sheamus went for his rope punches but Orton bailed with an elbow.

Sheamus fought out of a headlock back from break and clotheslined Orton to the outside. On the outside, Orton caught Sheamus with a boot and backdropped him on the announce table. Back in the ring Sheamus got out of another Orton headlock with a backdrop of his own. Sheamus started a comeback with his normal set of moves. Orton bailed again to the outside. Orton caught Sheamus and went for the middle rope DDT, but Sheamus countered with his rope punches. He hit a rolling senton and got two. Sheamus telegraphed a backdrop so Orton hit a kick followed by the middle rope DDT. Sheamus rolled to the apron and caught Orton with a battering ram and another powerslam. Orton ducked a Brogue Kick and Sheamus countered the RKO. Sheamus caught Orton with a boot and went to the top, but Orton caught him on the way down with the RKO to pick up the win.

WINNER: Randy Orton

Isn’t It Past These Guys Bed Time?

Hulk Hogan Birthday with Mene Gene and Jimmy Hart hosting, and all the current stars on stage. A video package aired. Hulk said Vince gave him a card with $9.99 in it so he could subscribe to the WWE Network. Hogan talked about what a great birthday he has had. Various legends started to come out: Ric Flair, Paul Orndorff, Rowdy Piper and the nWo. Scott Hall took the mic and said it’s time to take a survey. He asked who wants to see Hulk in the red and yellow, or in the black and white of the nWo. Hall said one more for the good guys. Nash started singing Happy Birthday but Brock Lesnar came out. Lesnar told Hogan that the party was over grandpa. Cena came out and challenged Lesnar to fight, but Lesnar left the ring.

WHAT I LIKED

Paul Heyman/Brock Lesnar Opening: Heyman was once again great on the mic. His rap was priceless. Whatever you don’t buy, I’m pretty sure Heyman could convince you to buy it. Great job selling SummerSlam to the audience.

Jack Swagger vs Cesaro: If you would have told someone after Wrestlemania that Swagger would be getting the better push of these two after SummerSlam, they would have laughed at you. But that’s where we are now. A good match between these two. It is still kind of weird to see Swagger making a babyface comeback. It was an interesting test to see him matched against someone other than Rusev and see the reaction. It was okay, but not great. Will be interested to see if Swagger keeps the support going forward. But a good match between the two and a creative finish.

Dean Ambrose: If you don’t like Dean Ambrose then you have no soul. Every week he does something new that tops what he did the previous week. I just wish the stipulation for the match on Sunday was better than what it is.

John Cena Promo: This one just makes the cut list. I like serious Cena. He’s taken the build to this match seriously and hasn’t made any of the stupid jokes he is used to making. I’d much rather have the Cena we’ve had in this build than anything we’ve seen this year. The anti-Cena crowd was in full force on social media. You are just going to never win with them. But I liked Cena’s rebuttal to Heyman from earlier.

SummerSlam Build: Outside of a couple problems I had (see below), I thought in general the WWE did a good job with SummerSlam’s build. Roman Reigns and Randy Orton didn’t interact, but they both looked strong heading into their match Sunday. AJ and Paige had a good build, as has Swagger/Rusev. Even Miz/Ziggler had a good interaction this week. I’m looking forward to SummerSlam.

WHAT I DIDN’T LIKE

Chris Jericho/Bray Wyatt Interview: Sorry, but I’m still not buying into this program. And it actually seems like it isn’t that high on the WWE’s radar either. The interview was just a rehash of everything that we have heard already. And I like both guys, but I just can’t find myself getting into this program. Hopefully the match at SummerSlam makes up for the mediocre build this program has had.

Stephanie McMahon/Brie Bella: Talk about taking something good and ruining it. I liked the program when it started. I was hoping last week would just be a minor hiccup. But man did this week jump the shark. The whole affair thing, and then Brie getting arrested again was just bad. At least Steph still plays a heel well. But this program lost a lot of the heat it once had. There was no need to introduce this whole “Daniel Bryan cheating” thing into the storyline.

I thought the overall show was okay. The WWE was in a hard SummerSlam sell mode and I think, for the most part, they did a good job of it tonight. The Hogan Birthday thing seemed like a waste for the most part. There were a handful of okay matches but nothing that really stood out as must see. I’m going to give RAW a 6. Hopefully SummerSlam delivers on Sunday.

Until Next Time,

Justin C

Follow Me On Twitter @JCWonka

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