Welcome to Smackdown! This has to be the most exciting news to come out of Smackdown in a long time – we’ve got a new commentator! I enjoy the commentary from NXT so I am hoping that Tom Phillips can bring a little freshness to the announce booth. It’d be nice to at least have somebody who seems to want to watch the match that’s in the ring. I’m not getting my hopes too high, but it’s nice to dream.
WARNING If you haven’t watched Smackdown this is what you need to know. There is a LOT of Randy Orton.
1. Randy Orton it is all well and good that last month you gave a great beat down to Roman Reigns, but that was last month my man. Just about a week ago you got beat by that same man. You’re only as strong as your last match, not the last time you didn’t look like a loser. Which could be longer than just a month ago.
2. I’m confused by this Swagger/Rollins match that’s going on, but I’m often surprised by the things that happen on Smackdown. I really just can’t make myself care at all about face!Swagger. I wasn’t all that big of a fan of heel!Swagger though so not much different here. I do think he’s been working hard to get over, but to me there’s nothing incredibly interesting about Jack Swagger. I do like Seth Rollins pulling the bitch bad guy move with the curb stomp and waiting for the count out victory. Hey, a win is a win.
3. Man, what an inspiring person Bo Dallas is. Coming out here and representing America when Jack Swagger has let us all down. I’ve been less than excited with the news that WWE is souring on Bo because in case I haven’t been perfectly clear, I think he’s wonderful. It isn’t just me, either. If you look here: you’ll see that even small children are down with Bo. They understand.
4. Pitting Sin Cara against Rusev is the perfect way to get the crowd’s nationalism going. I can’t believe Hunicara is still a thing. I do enjoy him better than I enjoyed the other guy in this mask, but if you’re trying to promote Rusev as the evil foreigner pitting him against another foreigner doesn’t really do that. You just kind of confuse your audience. Mark Henry interrupts after the match and Rusev runs away from him because they really want to build up the suspense for the eventual classic we’re sure to see from these two behemoths. Or they know we’re bound to get bored seeing the same thing over and over if they let the two of them get their hands on each other every week. Not the most versatile two guys if you know what I mean.
5. If Randy Orton isn’t punting someone I can’t fully believe he’s losing his cool completely. That’s when you know he’s a real badass. Right now he’s just beating up on an old man in Rob van Dam and that doesn’t seem right. In seriousness, is this RVD’s send off? RVD’s part time come backs make Jericho’s look good with how often he loses these matches. Poor guy.
6. I like that Randy Orton told the announcers to tell Roman Reigns that he wants them to inform Roman Reigns that he’s coming for him tonight, implying he knows Reigns wouldn’t take the time out to watch this pretty predictable match. We all wish we were so lucky I think. In a surprising twist, after the match Roman gives a backstage interview with Renee Young that doesn’t completely suck! They also acknowledge that he and Dean Ambrose are kind of buddies. And here I thought they forgot about that completely what with Roman letting Dean take all his beatdowns from various people at a time alone.
7. The Trish Stratus/Mickie James feud is really heating up with Trish finally fighting crazy with crazy on Raw as we see in this video package and then with Trish coming to the ring to distract Mickie again by acting the same way Mickie was before she won her title. Oh- oh wait right. Paige and AJ have just recycled that gimmick again here. My bad. I do enjoy both AJ and Paige but since I’ve watched the product for more than a few years I remember the last time they did this with the ladies. I guess they are on the right track – not much new territory to explore with ladies. Cat fights and crazy. Natalya pulls out another victory against the champ once again proving that they think of Natalya as no better than Eva Marie – a diva who takes advantage of a cheap victory. Good for you, Nattie.
8. We’ve got the Dust brothers vs. The Wyatt family here, hopefully to let Stardust and Goldust pick up the victory so we get a new set of opponents for the Usos at Night of Champions instead of Harper and Rowan. More predictably, we’ll probably get both teams and have some sort of fatal 4-way, but at least it’s something kind of new. I would think Harper and Rowan would be firmly out of the picture by now, but hey – I’ve only seem them lose like 3 times in a row at the big events so maybe I’m wrong about how new contenders work. I just think it’s terrible that we had a time of real rebuilding in the tag team division and it seems to be dying again with the same matches over and over. As much I’m still not completely sold on Stardust, I’m starting to get behind it, and I do like new storylines. Harper and Rowan lose again and just continue to lose all their momentum despite this beat down after the match. The announce team tells us that the Wyatts are sending a message, and I guess that message is, no we can’t win matches but we can beat people up when it doesn’t count in the end!
9, Thank goodness Smackdown can give us great video packages to further feuds like The Bellas and the destruction of John Cena by Brock Lesnar by showing us video packages of things we saw on previous shows in previous weeks. We know that such high profile people would never show up this B show but as a person who writes about this wonderful product, I feel like we’re not cheated at all by repeated video packages. Who wants the real thing, right?? Also, I don’t know about any of you but I’m simply shocked that John Cena is invoking his rematch clause at the very next big show after Summerslam. I’m simply shocked by this news.
10. There’s way too much Randy Orton for me tonight, but I assume most people are happy by his constant presence at ringside here. In some commentating gold Michael Cole makes fun of JBL and Tom for being supposed Miz fans, making fun of Tom for knowing the Miz’s coffee order which he stated on camera just over an hour ago. The more hilarious thing about this is that Michael Cole seems to have forgotten that he was obsessed with The Miz just a few years ago. Ah well. The match lasts about 2 minutes and Reigns wins easily against The Miz proving they’d rather build up Roman Cena here as fast as they can, letting him quickly defeat someone they’re trying to show us is a credible heel. The little girl screams as Reigns delivers the Superman punch just prove Roman’s well set up for the John Cena spot. Having a never ending feud with Randy Orton really helps perpetuate that as well. Thanks for making it obvious here.
SMACKDOWN! What a show. Almost every match had an outside distraction that pretty much played into the outcome. Good to know we can’t have just good wrestling with honest finishes. If you’d like to know all the things I’m obsessed with about wrestling, or want to just yell my way – you can find me at here. In case you haven’t heard, Smackdown is moving to Thursdays starting in October meaning if you watch on Friday nights you’re now free to move on with your lives and discover Friday night life. I wish you luck wrestling fans.