WWE NXT Review 7.27.16 w/JSP

NXT Logo - 2012

– Whoever’s decision it was to insert those laser sounds in the theme should be hung from a tree.

 Shinsuke Nakamura vs. Wesley Blake

-I’d also like whoever composed Wesley Blake’s entrance music to be fined $5,000 and publicly humiliated.

-This earns the status of Best Nakamura Squash Ever solely because Blake blows a cocky kiss at him, and Nakamura CATCHES IT AND STOMPS IT ON THE MAT.

-Blake doesn’t look too shabby in this match as the minuscule amount of offense he gets looks fairly impressive. That said, he’s basically a long-haired Dash Wilder and we already have one of those, so his days might be numbered.

-The Kinshasa wins, and Regal comes out to formally announce Joe vs. Nakamura for Brooklyn. Fun little way to open the show if nothing else and you should stop watching wrestling if you’re not HYPED for Joe and Nakamura.

WINNER: Shinsuke Nakamura

Billie Kay vs. Santana Garrett

-Santana’s music is a horrific amalgamation of Shinsuke Nakamura’s and Blurphy’s theme and I ask again that whoever composed it to be fined $5000 and publicly humiliated.

-The match sucks pretty much, but Santana actually ends up performing the first successful back handspring elbow in women’s wrestling history so it’s not all for naught.

-Billie wasn’t very impressive all things considered, but it’s good that NXT is starting to transition more women into the fold after dropping Alexa and the dead weight of Nia Jax.

WINNER: Billie Kay

– They air a horrible corny vignette for what I assume is a new wrestler but it literally doesn’t give me a single piece of information.

TM61 vs. Geeks

-Shane Thorn sets up one of the geeks for a Tope Atomico but the geek just sits there like an idiot, so Thorn sentons on him anyways in a hilarious spot. The same geek pusses out on bumping off of an otherwise cool spinebuster from Nick Miller, which makes it look awful.

-James Ellsworth he was not, and Ellsworth probably had a better look than him as this dude had loose jeans with kneepads over the them. He looked like Cheeseburger without the charm or basic wrestling competency. TM61 kills him with their finish and that’s all she wrote.

WINNERS: TM61

No Way Jose vs. Steve Cutler

-Steve Cutler has mutton chops that make latter-era CM Punk look like a fashion guru. Jose looks like a bad motherfucker when he’s pissed off, so at least he’s got that going for him.

-Yet another generic squash match, but it had decent enough storyline purpose so it’s hard to slate it. Homeboy’s promo is awesome too, as it’s just 80’s babyface SUPER INTENSE YELLING that you don’t see much these days. The happy-go-lucky positive guy who can beat the shit out of you despite that is a cool gimmick so hopefully Jose improves as he goes along.

WINNER: No Way Jose

Kota Ibushi vs. Buddy Murphy

-This is promoted more as a Cruiserweight Classic spotlight rather than Ibushi’s official NXT debut, but it’s still pretty awesome. The crowd ERUPTS for the guy as I have a feeling they didn’t know this was coming.

-His music is pretty sweet too, as it goes.

-This is easily the best squash match of the night as Ibushi immediately comes off as the most polished, exciting guy on the show and gets his shit in rather than playing to the hard cam. Thumbs up.

WINNER: Kota Ibushi

– The news of facing Shinsuke Nakamura at Takeover comes as news to Samoa Joe, and Joe’s like “what the fuck dude I wasn’t told of this” and goes out to FIX THIS.

– Bobby Roode is finally debuting next week, which I’m super excited for even if no one else is. His TNA title run in 2012 was absolutely tremendous.

– Joe comes out to the ring, and he’s not the happiest man in the room. Joe – rightly miffed about not being told about this before it was announced – just says it isn’t happening at all instead and says Nakamura hasn’t done what it takes to be #1 contender. That’s the sign of an awesome heel. He’s making absolute sense and making the correct points, but goes about it in such a dickhead way that it’s hard to sympathize. Regal comes out and is having none of this shit, and says if Joe doesn’t want to wrestle Nakamura in Brooklyn then he can forfeit the title. Joe backpedals and says ‘fine’, but he’s Samoa Joe so even his cowardice is more badass than anybody’s nobility. Nakamura struts out and looks at Samoa Joe before leaving, and that’s the show.

Overall: An utterly skippable episode of NXT this week after the past month or two of fantastic episodes. It’s all fairly aimless squash matches with nothing else aside from the awesome ending segment. Not really something you should go out of your way to see if we’re being honest.

Jake St-Pierre

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