Tag Team Tuesday: Survivor Series Fantasy Warfare!
I’m doing something a little different this week with Tag Team Tuesday.
You won’t get a match to watch this week. With Survivor Series this weekend, I’m doing a little bit of my own “fantasy warfare” today.
What made Survivor Series unique when it first started was the giant elimination tag team matches. They were something different in the 80s. Nowadays because of the amount of TV that the WWE has, they’ve lost their luster.
But what if you could put together teams of different wrestlers from different eras in the WWE and put together a dream Survivor Series card? How cool would that be? Well, I’m going to give you the chance to see what I would do with that. The only rules are that they have to have been in the Company during the Survivor Series period, so that means pretty much anyone is available.
So I’m putting together six matches, with five members on each team. Enjoy!
Ricky Steamboat, Daniel Bryan, Sami Zayn and the Hardy Boyz vs Randy Savage, Chris Jericho, Kevin Owens, Edge and Christian
-Well, here is your opening match that is all about workrate. The obvious history is there with Steamboat and Savage in addition to Zayn and Owens. Throw in Bryan and Jericho and you have some of the best workers ever. And the Hardyz in this era are still good workers, and they have had a long standing rivalry with Edge and Christian. If you give these guys 30 minutes I think they put on one hell of a match. It gets down to Bryan and Savage. After a 10 minute exchange, Bryan moves out of the way of an Elbow Drop and applies the YES Lock. Bryan is the Sole Survivor.
Shawn Michaels, Triple H, Eddie Guerrero, Rey Mysterio, and Dusty Rhodes vs Kurt Angle, Randy Orton, Batista, Ted DiBiase and Roddy Piper
-Can you imagine the promos leading up to this match? Piper would probably obliterate anyone on the face team on the mic. Dusty Rhodes would cut the inspirational babyface promo for his team. I thought about separating Triple H and Michaels, because I always thought they were better adversaries than partners, but I left them together. This match obviously wouldn’t be any slouch either when it comes to workrate as well. Kurt Angle had great chemistry with all four guys he wrestled on the face team. And Batista was also better as a heel, especially during his late run with the company. HBK tries coming back from down 3-1 against Angle, Batista and Piper. He catches Batista with Sweet Chin Music to eliminate him. But Angle locks him in the Ankle Lock to give his team the win as he and Piper survive.
The Rock, Bret Hart and New Day vs Ric Flair, Mr. Perfect, and The Shield
-Okay, I kind of went off the reservation with this one here. I did it for a couple of reasons. The first being that Bret Hart and Curt Hennig had some pretty good chemistry with each other. Then there are The Rock and Ric Flair, two of the best promos of all time, leading their respective teams. I made The Shield heels because they would fit perfectly as “hired guns” for Flair and Perfect. I added New Day for one simple reason: The in ring promo before the match with them and The Rock. Could you imagine that? Rock eliminates Reigns to get down to just him and Flair. But with the ref out, Flair low blows Rock and Reigns comes back to Spear him to make Flair the winner.
Trish Stratus, Mickie James, Bayley, Sasha Banks and Becky Lynch vs Lita, Beth Phoenix, Charlotte, Victoria and Nikki Bella
-There doesn’t have to be a women’s match on this card, but this is my PPV and it is going to be four hours damn it! And unlike the WWE, I’m making my four hour PPVs extremely watchable. You mix the current crop of great female talent with the obvious additions of Trish, Lita, and the rest. This wouldn’t be bad wrestling. Charlotte hits Natural Selection on Trish to eliminate her and be the sole survivor.
Hulk Hogan, John Cena, The Undertaker, and The Legion of Doom vs Andre the Giant, Diesel, Kane and The Dudley Boyz
-Remember, the point of this list is to have it be all wrestlers in their prime. So mid-90s heel Diesel is cool here. As is debuting Kane and mid-90s Undertaker. This is essentially a big man spectacle match with all the height in the ring. The WWE’s poster childs for babyfaces, Hogan and Cena, end up on the same team here. And I think L.O.D. and the Dudleyz are two of the “tougher” tag teams to ever step foot in the ring, so that makes it an interesting match-up from that standpoint. Cena miraculosuly hits the AA on Andre then Hogan hits the leg drop for the win.
“Stone Cold” Steve Austin, Goldberg, The Ultimate Warrior, Razor Ramon and The British Bulldog vs CM Punk, Brock Lesnar, Rick Rude, AJ Styles and Bray Wyatt
-This is my main event. I originally had Goldberg and Brock Lesnar in the match above, but I wanted more star power in this match. You get the dream feud everyone talks about with Austin and Punk. Bray Wyatt can talk nonsense to the Ultimate Warrior and the Warrior can respond with equally absurd nonsense. AJ Styles gets the rub of being in this match with so many big names. The match ends with Austin delivering a stunner to Punk to send the fans home happy.
So what do you think? Like it? Hate it? What would your card be?
Justin C (@JCWonka)