-We start with Prince Puma pledging himself to join the darkness and Vampiro. Prince Puma goes to the Dark Side. Too bad he doesn’t sound evil.
Jeremiah Crane vs Mil Muertes w/Catrina
-Crane is billed as being from the last house on the left. Yeah but what street is it on?
-Catrina and Crane make eye contact as she enters. Remember they apparently have history.
-Mil hits a hard shoulder tackle on Crane then ten stiff shots in the corner.
Justin C and Cam here to give you are year end wrestling awards!
JC: AJ Styles vs John Cena
When I wrote my picks I did it from bottom to top. I wrote a good amount about this feud below. Styles turn was great and this was easily the feud of the summer and I don’t think it is even close.
Cam: Shinsuke Nakamura
When the WWE signed the highly prized New Japan star I was a little afraid the WWE wouldn’t know exactly what to do with him. That fear couldn’t have been any more wrong. Nakamura is a two time NXT Champion with a ‘clear path’ to Raw according to Triple H. Once Nakamura gets to Raw I’m certain matches with Seth Rollins, Kevin Owens and Finn Balor are just on the horizon.
The Return of John Cena
-Cena is met with his normal “John Cena Sucks” chants.
-The crowd starts an “Undertaker” chant at Cena as he asks what is next in his career.
-Cena says he is sick of the “New Era” crap and this is still his era. He is challenging the winner of the main event to a Title match at the Royal Rumble. And if the fans don’t like it? Tough, because he just did it!
1. Stephanie McMahon With A Great Burn
-I’m usually down on Stephanie McMahon and think she can be quite annoying. But damn did she have a great burn on the Chicago crowd. She was immediately met with “CM Punk” chants when she started talking. Stephanie responded by saying “If you can keep the chant going for 2 minutes and 15 seconds you’d last longer than CM Punk.”
Listen, I like CM Punk. He is still one of my five favorite wrestlers of all time. But it is time for everyone, including those in Chicago, to move on. It has been almost three years. If he comes back at some point great. And even though I still give him high marks for attempting a UFC career, he still looked embarrassing in defeat.
Battle of the Bulls Finals: The Mack vs Cage vs Jeremiah Crane vs PJ Black
-Everyone gets some offense in early on.
-Now it is time for everyone to hit a dive to the outside. Cage hits a nice running senton over the top rope.
-Cage gets his time to shine. Mack has him in the Doomsday Device position, but Cage catches Black and powerslams him down. Cage then powerbombs Crane onto Mack.
WCW Fall Brawl 2000!!
The show opened with Elix Skipper vs Kwee Wee for the cruiserweight title. Elix Skipper might be my least favorite wrestler of all time at the moment. Just looked completely lost in there at times and had no business on a major wrestling show, let alone as a title holder. Kwee Wee did as good a job as he could given his opposition, but this was just awful. I thought someone was going to die about 4 times. And of course we got interference for no reason with the Natural Born Thrillers. Classic Russo “let’s start a feud at the PPV” bullshit. And Major Gunns looks like a total whore and is not attractive in the least. I can’t think of a worst way to start a PPV.
1. Nia Jax Doesn’t Work For Me As The Monster Of The Women’s Division
-Looks like the WWE decided to put Nia Jax in a feud with Sasha Banks. I’m all for ending the Sasha/Charlotte feud, but I would have preferred Sasha move on to a feud with Emma. I get that the WWE wants to get Nia some TV time, but she doesn’t give off the big monster intimidating vibe. A lot of it has to do with her voice not sounding all that scary. And while her move set looks intimidating, I don’t think she has come along in the ring like the WWE hoped she would. Maybe working with Sasha will help Nia. But I just don’t see anything that makes Nia a player in the women’s division on RAW moving forward.
Rusev vs Big Cass
-The crowd popped pretty big when they saw Enzo. They don’t care about Big Cass on his own. That is becoming quite obvious.
-All Big Cass so far in the early going.
-They go to the outside and Rusev takes out Enzo. Big Cass gets tripped up and Rusev wins by countout.
WINNER via Countout: Rusev- Wow, can’t even have Rusev go over Big Cass clean? That’s crap. Way too short of a match to mean anything. Can see why they put it on the preshow.
Battle of the Bulls: Killshot vs Dante Fox vs Jeremiah Crane vs Mariposa
-They try to make Mariposa the “power” person of the match early. Except she looks to slow and even for LU it looks really fake.
-Crane and Killshot both hit dives to the outside.
-Crane says screw it and throws some chairs in the ring. He tosses one at Killshot as he tries going off the top.
Justin wants me to introduce myself to everyone. My name is Tim Glancy, and I watch AWFUL wrestling on the WWE Network and write about it. This started as something I would do and post about on another website that Justin and I both frequent, and he made the offer to carry the stuff here as well, so I jumped at the chance to have more eyes on my slow (or not so slow) descent to madness. The premise behind this series is simple: I am going to watch awful wrestling and tear it apart. If you have any suggestions for shows on the WWE Network that might fit the bill, send them to me via email to firstname.lastname@example.org or hit me up on twitter @OMGlancy. Please note that the wackier the better. There are plenty of shows that are bad because they are boring, but those are WAY less fun to write about. I also have some shows in the can as well, so there is a chance that shows you might request (2000 WCW shows in particular) might already be on the way!
One more note. I swear. A lot. So if you are offended but foul language, I would leave now. You have been warned.
I lied, one more one more note. Some of these earlier shows were done as a series of message board posts. I have tried to edit them together in a way that makes sense, and every show going forward will be done in one column for maximum continuity, but if the flow seems off, now you know why! I promise that is it. On with the show.