-Daniel Bryan is ready to eat an apple backstage. Miz and Maryse interrupt. He calls Toledo a dump. Bryan gives Miz his rematch for the IC Title, but in a Lumberjack Match. I’m disappointed Bryan didn’t spit the apple in Miz’s face, since he wasn’t being cool.
Randy Orton vs Luke Harper
-Is this the first time two people fighting each other came down at the same time to the same music?
-Bray Wyatt is apparently a match maker now, because he made this match.
-Bray sitting there and watching on with no emotion is what most of us do every Monday night.
-Orton hits most of his offense then the action stumbles to the outside. Harper hits a pretty good looking boot to the face of Orton. Bray rolls both of them back in the ring.
-Some back and forth action on the return from commercial. then a RKO OUT OF NOWHERE for the win. Poor Luke Harper, with no Erik Rowan around he is the jobber of the Wyatt Family.
-Bray offers his hand to Harper after the match, but then hits Sister Abigail. What a horrible father figure Bray is.
WINNER: Randy Orton
-They air a video package of the Alexa/Becky cage match from last week that made it seem much more epic than it was.
-Tonight AJ Styles calls out John Cena, which is apparently a big thing despite them being face to face multiple times over the last few weeks.
Mickie James Interview
-Mickie James comes out to be interviewed by Renee Young. She says Alexa Bliss has been fighting the women’s revolution since Day One.
-It looks like Mickie is reverting to Psycho Mickie, which I can dig.
-Becky Lynch is having none of this shit. She comes in and attacks. Of course, she chases Mickie into the crowd and Alexa Bliss sneak attacks her.
-Carmella takes James Ellsworth for his makeover. I’m pretty sure it happened in a Thrift Shop, because that is what the setup screams. Your typical WWE comedy here.
Battle Royal For A Royal Rumble Spot
-The Vaudevillains are eliminated before the Ascension, which goes to show you how far they’ve fallen.
-Baron Corbin is on commentary that isn’t Talking Smack, which is a bad idea.
-This is essentially the Smackdown tag team division and Mojo. So Mojo wins. Now the Rumble is HYPED!!!
WINNER: Mojo Rawley
-Natalya attacked Nikki Bella earlier and tossed her into the side of a semi.
AJ Styles/John Cena Segment
-AJ starts by immediately calling B.S. on the Royal Rumble poster with him in the back. That’s smart.
-Cena comes out, and they show a clip from the today show of Al Roker and the other host calling AJ Styles “that guy from Atlanta.” What a heel.
-AJ says Cena’s only excuse left is Cena himself, because Cena is a sorry excuse for a wrestler.
-Cena says AJ has only been hot for six months while he has been holding down the WWE fort for a decade.
-Oh now Cena bashes the Indies and says he wasn’t built for that scene.
-Cena calls AJ just another guy and like everyone else before him. And his time is still now.
Dolph Ziggler vs Kalisto
-Ziggler squashes Kalisto in about a minute with a superkick. Those are some bad lucha things.
WINNER: Dolph Ziggler
-Ziggler grabs a chair after the match, but Apollo Crews stops him from attacking Kalisto.
Naomi vs Natalya
-Natalya gets jumped by Nikki Bella backstage.
-Naomi says she came back to Smackdown Live because it is the land of opportunity. Or maybe she is contractually obligated? She wants a match with somebody, so they can feel the GLOW.
-Alexa Bliss comes out and asks who Naomi is again. She teases like she will give Naomi a title fight, but Alexa says nope and tells Naomi to have fun in obscurity.
Lumberjack Match for the Intercontinental Title: Dean Ambrose (c) vs The Miz
-The jobbers out here for this lumberjack match is quite sad.
-Both men get tossed to the outside early on, as per tradition with lumberjack matches.
-Ambrose goes for the Lunatic Lariot but those dastardly lumberjacks pull him out.
-I’m watching Maryse’s hand movements on the outside and they just look so fake.
-Ambrose hits the slowest of slow suicide dives to the outside.
-Maryse holds Ambrose’s leg. The delay allows Miz to hit Daniel Bryan’s running knee for two.
-Corbin breaks up a pin then all the lumberjacks enter the ring.
-After everything clears, Ambrose hits Dirty Deeds for the win.
WINNER and STILL Intercontinental Champion: Dean Ambrose
Until Next Time,
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