-Shane McMahon and Daniel Bryan are watching the tape of last week’s battle royal. They say it’s inconclusive, even though it totally isn’t. AJ tries talking them out of the match and runs down Harper, who of course is standing right behind him.
Miz TV w/John Cena
-Maryse is looking Donald Trump Orange tonight.
-John Cena comes out and Miz demands his mic get cut. Miz says that Cena cost him ten years of opportunities.
-Miz apparently doesn’t remember beating John Cena at Wrestlemania. Probably because he got knocked the fuck out during that match.
Raw kicks off with me missing the beginning of it! I am assured that for some reason Goldberg was mic’d up while he did his very long backstage walk, but I used that precious time to collect myself and get ready for what is probably going to be a long night.
Goldberg is 6 days away from getting his heart, the Universal championship. Ohhh I get it now! Wasn’t he the Universal Soldier before? Maybe he kind of just thinks he’s owed this championship. He says Kevin Owens talks too much, but just a little bit of Goldberg talk and I think I’m fine with an abundance of Kevin Owens. Who thankfully joins the opening segment party and tells Goldberg about all the people he’s taken out in his path and that Goldy is next in his evolution. KO teases a Green Bay Street Fight! But of course we’re left with him leaving Goldberg standing in the ring as he walks away the superior man. This crowd is dead.
The booking of 205 Live continues to out shine most of the Raw booking. A month ago I would have told you 205 Live would be scrapped by fall. Now, the cruiserweight roster can easily feature two different feuds on each pay per view.
Akira Tozawa v. Brian Kendrick
Kendrick and Tozawa are two guys that could be inserted into the Cruiserweight Title picture at any moment. However, this personal feud has grown into something much deeper than the title, for now.
-Daniel Bryan welcomes out Naomi and the crowd still chants “You Deserve It” for some reason.
-Bryan says that him and Shane went over Naomi’s medical records and they know she can’t defend the Title in 30 days, so he asks her to relinquish the Title.
-Naomi tries giving an emotional speech but I’m just not buying it. Naomi says when she gets back everyone will FEEL THE GLOW.
-Justin C here this week as Heather is stuck working. And I’m battling a cold but damn it I’m here for you!
-The video recap for the Festival of Friendship took up the first five minutes of RAW. It might be better than anything else on the show tonight.
Kevin Owens Segment
-Owens talks about Goldberg, completely ignoring what happened with Chris Jericho. He says Goldberg never impressed him. Not in WCW and surely not now.
When I watched The 2000 Great American Bash, I ended with the following line:
I have no idea what I am going to watch next, but it can’t really be much worse than this.
Well, be careful what you wish for.
The WWE loves to troll their fans. ‘Let’s bring in Nigel McGinness but keep Percy Watson and they’ll totally hate us.’ Jerks.
Authors of Pain v. Lance Anoa’i & Garrison Spears
A squash match if there ever was such a thing. Akam and Rezar have the tangibles to be a tag team to remember, it’s just going to take more than Paul Ellering and A WHOLE LOT more work.
Corey Graves said ‘205 Live and chill’, like that would even be over with a girl that’s into wrestling. You just moved down a peg, Graves.
Noam Dar v. Rich Swann
Rich Swann is back, bay bay! As each week goes by I could make a strong argument for six cruiserweights that should be on the main roster, easily. Here’s to hoping there is at least two cruiserweight matches at Wrestlemania.
This past Monday we saw one of the best segments in the recent history of Monday Night RAW. The Festival of Friendship segment was so well done. Chris Jericho and Kevin Owens have constantly been the best part of RAW for the last few months. When Owens and Jericho were on TV, you knew that you would at least get one entertaining segment on RAW.
Jericho was his over the top self during the Festival of Friendship. And you could tell that as the segment went on that something wasn’t right with Kevin Owens. Owens, if you remember, had a talk with Triple H earlier in the show. Whatever Triple H said to Owens, it set up what was one of the best done turns in the WWE. Owens and Jericho were heels, but the crowd respected them and were constantly entertained when they were out there.
-I’m here bringing you a live Smackdown review on Valentine’s Day, so you know exactly what my love life is like.
-Bray Wyatt has much more intensity in his promo this week as he seems extra motivated with the Title. He says he truly feels like he has the whole world in his hands.
-John Cena comes out. He wants to have their fight right now.
-AJ Styles is out. He calls Cena a line jumper and accuses him of jumping the line at the airport and grocery store. Cena does look like someone who would cut the line at a grocery store, or bring 15 items in the 10 item or less lane.