Quick Hits: WWE Fastlane 3.5.17 Review
Sami Zayn vs Samoa Joe
-Joe delivers a stiff kick early on to Zayn and is in control early on.
-Joe follows it up with a stiff looking punch in the corner, followed by an elbow an enziguri kick to the head.
-Zayn is finally able to get some offense in with the Blue Thunder bomb but only gets two.
-Any Zayn comeback is quickly thwarted by Joe with an atomic drop and running senton.
-Zayn plays possum and gets a rollup for two. They go to the top. Zayn can’t get the sunset flip powerbomb. Joe is able to regain control and apply the Coquina Clutch as Zayn passes out.
WINNER: Samoa Joe- Pretty much a one sided affair. Zayn had a couple of hope spots but that match was dominated by Joe 90% of the time. It was there way of putting over Joe in his first PPV match.
RAW Tag Team Championship: The Club (c) vs Big Cass and Enzo Amore
-Enzo and Cass drop the local sports teams. Pretty lazy for their standards.
-The Club gets sent to the outside early. Big Cass tosses Enzo onto them, but he almost overthrows Enzo.
-Enzo ducks a Gallows clothesline but Anderson catches him from behind with a knee. And now we enter the Enzo as babyface in peril portion of the match.
-Anderson misses on a charge. He pulls Enzo to the outside and he ducks moves by both members of The Club. But Anderson catches Enzo with a kick to the face as Enzo dives for a tag.
-We finally get the Big Cass hot tag and he hits the usual offense: fallaway slam, corner splash, side slam, Empire Elbow.
-Cass hits the boot and Enzo and Cass hit their finisher, but Gallows pulls Enzo off the cover.
-Anderson catches Enzo with a kick to the face as he comes back in the ring. Enzo gets his foot on the rope, but Gallows knocks it off before three. The Club retains.
WINNERS and STILL RAW Tag Team Champions: Luke Gallows and Karl Anderson- Average match. If you have seen one Enzo and Cass match, you have seen them all. The finish probably sets up a rematch at Mania.
Nia Jax vs Sasha Banks
-Sasha goes on the offensive early on. She lands punches and kicks. But Nia eventually slams her down to the mat.
-Nia’s trash talking to the crowd is not very good. She should stick to the silent, strong type character.
-After what seems like forever, Sasha goes for a guillotine choke. Nia tosses Sasha over her shoulders and Sasha applies a sleeper, but Nia backs Sasha into the corner.
-Sasha applies the Banks Statement but Nia powers out of it. Nia slams Sasha down then leg drops her back.
-Nia rag dolls Sasha around. She throws Sasha up but Sasha reverses Nia into a roll up for the win.
WINNER: Sasha Banks- Somewhat surprised by that finish. The problem with Nia Jax is that she doesn’t have the monster heel mannerisms down like BRAUN does. Plus Nia can’t trash talk for shit. Until then I don’t think she’s believable as a monster heel.
Cesaro vs Jinder Mahal/Rusev vs Big Show
-Rusev and Mahal broke up as a team on the pre-show. Mick Foley promised them each a singles match. Rusev and Mahal argued in the ring about who would fight first. Mahal took out Rusev.
-Someone needs to tell me how Jinder Mahal passes a Wellness Test.
-I’ve been having issues with my Network on my PS3 lately. Cesaro won. Rusev attacked Jinder after the match. Rusev gets a match with the Big Show.
-How short on time were they that the WWE had to add this 20 minutes to the show with these two matches.
-Big Show wins after 3 chokeslams and a knockout punch.
WINNERS: Cesaro and Big Show
WWE Cruiserweight Championship: Neville (c) vs Jack Gallagher
-Gallagher head stands on the turnbuckle for a bit to mess with Neville. Gallagher then hurricarranas Neville to the outside.
-Gallagher follows Neville to the outside, so Neville slams him into the barricade.
-Neville dominates until Gallagher comes back and hits a suicide dive to the outside.
-Gallagher hits a backdrop from the top rope for two.
-Neville drops Gallagher on the ropes, then Neville German suplexes Gallagher and he lands on his head somewhat. Neville hits a Phoenix splash for two.
-Gallagher hits a headbutt, Neville a kick, then another Gallagher headbutt. Gallagher falls on Neville and gets two.
-Gallagher headbutts Neville on the top. Neville front face suplexes Gallagher off, then hits the Red Arrow for the win.
WINNER and STILL Cruiserweight Champion: Neville- That was probably the best Cruiserweight match to date, not counting the tournament. The crowd was into it and they were getting behind Gallagher by the end of the match. Some of those spots where Gallagher landed looked bad. And his headbutts look great. Very good match.
-New Day came out to pimp their ice cream. That’s it.
BRAUN Strowman vs Roman Reigns
-BRAUN tosses Reigns to the outside then knocks Reigns off the apron.
-Reigns catches BRAUN with a boot then clotheslines BRAUN over the top. BRAUN misses a charge and goes into the steps.
-Roman goes for the corner mount but BRAUN slams him down with the spinebuster.
-BRAUN keeps a nerve hold on for what seems like forever. Reigns finally escapes, but BRAUN front chokeslams him.
-BRAUN catches Roman going for the Drive By and slams him into the post. BRAUN misses a charge and goes into the post.
-BRAUN misses a boot and goes over the ropes kind of awkwardly. Reigns hits a drive by then goes for a Spear, but BRAUN catches him and hits a running slam on Reigns through the Spanish announce table.
-BRAUN takes his time coming back in and Reigns catches him with a Spear for two.
-Roman catches BRAUN with a handful of Superman punches. BRAUN slams Roman down. BRAUN goes to the top but misses a splash. Reigns hits a Spear for the win.
WINNER: Roman Reigns- What a load of horseshit. You build up BRAUN for months only to have him lose to Reigns in a throwaway match. And people wonder why Reigns is hated. Awful. The match wasn’t bad. But the result was stupid.
RAW Women’s Championship: Bayley (c) vs Charlotte
-Charlotte tells Dana Brooke to go to the back.
-Some early chain wrestling to start the match.
-Bayley slams Charlotte’s head into the turnbuckle. Bayley hits a clothesline then a hurricarrana from the apron to the outside.
-Charlotte suckers Bayley to the outside and catches her with a clothesline.
-Charlotte gets Bayley in the corner then slams her knee into the head of Bayley down to the mat.
-Now see Charlotte’s trash talking is good as she hits a nice neckbreaker and kicks Bayley into the corner.
-Charlotte hits a moonsault then a senton but only gets two.
-Bayley bounces off the corner and hits a clothesline and starts her comeback.
-Bayley hits a hurricarrana off the top then a Macho Man Elbow for two.
-Charlotte connects on Natural Selection but only gets two. Bayley kicks Charlotte out of the ring but Charlotte slams her to the mat.
-Sasha Banks runs out to attack Charlotte and the ref doesn’t call for a DQ. Bayley hits a Bayley to Belly on the outside.
-Back in the ring, Charlotte gets a small package but Sasha yells at the ref that Charlotte is holding the tights. The ref sees this, then Bayley hits the Bayley-to-Belly for the win.
WINNER and STILL RAW Women’s Champion- Bayley- That was all kinds of screwy when it came to the end. The match itself was very good. But the ending was just weird. The WWE movd things way too quickly with the women’s division on RAW. Bayley winning and Charlotte losing should have been saved for Wrestlemania.
WWE Universal Championship: Kevin Owens (c) vs Goldberg
-Wow, the Champ actually came out last!
-KO leaves the ring right before the ref rings the bell. We are at almost 5 minute right now.
-Owens finally gets into the ring and wants the bell to ring. Chris Jericho’s music hits and he comes out. Owens is distracted. Goldberg hits the Spear and Jackhammer for the win.
WINNER and NEW Universal Champion: Goldberg- I can’t wait for the Wrestlemania main event to be 3 minutes. Vince McMahon’s fascination with part timers continues as he continunes to bury his full time talent come Wrestlemania season. And shoudn’t Jericho have wanted Owens to be Universal Champ to take the Title from him?
OVERALL: The wrestling on the show wasn’t bad, but I was not a fan of the outcomes of the last three matches. BRAUN was built up just to lose to Reigns. The WWE blew their load to early with Bayley winning and Charlotte losing at Fastlane, and Oldberg takes the Title off a full timer and hasn’t worked an actual match yet. Wrestlemania is going to be frustrating again.
Until Next Time,
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