Quick Hits: WWE Smackdown Live 3.28.17

Shane McMahon/AJ Styles Contract Signing

-They are in Richmond, and I would say the crowd is pretty firmly behind Styles. Assuming that’s the same this Sunday.

-Shane said him and Daniel Bryan set a vision to make Smackdown Live a place where every wrestler could perform to their fullest potential. He says Styles is one of the best wrestlers to ever set foot in the ring. Duh.

-Shane said it was Styles ego that is hurting him. And his ego was causing him to miss Wrestlemania. Wait, if Styles is the best wrestler in the world, shouldn’t Shane have him in a match at Wrestlemania??? Shane said if AJ lets his ego get to him, then it will be his hand raised at Wrestlemania.

-AJ says Shane hasn’t been in a traditional wrestling match in a long time, and he doesn’t know what he is in for this Sunday. A traditional wrestling match? Booo.

-The contract is signed. Shane offers a handshake but AJ refuses. And the table lives!

Becky Lynch vs Carmella w/James Ellsworth

-Carmella takes her gum out and puts it in Ellsworth’s mouth. That Bucky Beaver toothed Kevin Dunn missed the shot though.

-Everything gets chaotic. Mickie and Alexa fight at ringside then Mickie ends up in the ring staring down Becky.

-We have a tag match back from break! It’s Alexa and Carmella vs Becky and Mickie.

-Mickie kicks Alexa off the apron but Carmella catches her turning around with a super kick.

-The heels continue to work over Mickie when Natalya comes out.

-Back from break Mickie catches Alexa with a hurricarrna and neckbreaker, allowing her to tag in Becky.

-Natalya tries coming in but Becky catches her with a right. The ref tends to her, allowing Ellsworth to trip her and and Carmella to pin her for the win.

-Things break down after the match. Naomi comes out and clears the ring. She hits a hurricarrna on Natalya on the ramp. Naomi says she is entering the Smackdown Women’s match this Sunday. That entrance is going to look stupid in the daylight since the women’s match is on the preshow.

WINNERS: Alexa Bliss and Carmella

Total Bellas/Total B.S. Finale

-Miz gets dressed up as Daniel Bryan for dinner. It is a family dinner . MizCena is wearing an over sized suit. MizBryan refuses to eat the steak made, but he gets excited when BrieMaryse gets him his juice box. NikkiMaryse Bella gets on her knees and asks John Cena to marry her.

-Back from break, MizCena says he will NOT marry NikkiMaryse because it will ruin his brand. MizCena says after they lose this Sunday, he wouldn’t want NikkiMaryse around to remind him of his failure.

-Miz and Maryse take off the outfits. IT WASN’T REALLY JOHN CENA AND NIKKI BELLA??? They run down Nikki and Cena.

-Out come Cena and Nikki. Cena said the WWE didn’t want Maryse back because she didn’t do jack the first time and to search for “Best Of Maryse” on the WWE Network.

-Cena says everyone leaves for movies. Even the Miz, even though they are crappy bootlegs of one he has already made.

-Cena calls Maryse a waste of space and the only reason she is back is because Miz begged them to hire her back so Miz could be on Total Divas. Cena says Miz and Maryse have as many kids as Him and Nikki and asks if Miz is firing blanks.

-Cena says him and Nikki will destroy them at Wrestlemania. Cena says if you want to talk tough you have to be tough, and right now Miz is a pussy. They bleeped that. Cena called them the shit couple and begged Miz to prove them wrong.

-Miz and Maryse looked ready to fight but backed off. Miz teased coming back in but backed away. Nikki said this Sunday her and John are coming to kick their ass.

American Alpha, Heath Slater, Rhyno and Mojo Rawley vs The Usos, Breezango and Dolph Ziggler

-Everyone in this match is in the Andre the Giant Battle Royal. Which means no Smackdown Live Tag Title match at Wrestlemania. That is dumb.

-The crowd is chanting for Mojo. I like this crowd.

-Mojo gets tagged in. Everyone tosses everyone over the top rope to show you what it will be like Sunday if you are dumb and forgot what a battle royal is like. Mojo pins Tyler Breeze.

WINNERS: American Alpha, Heath Slater, Rhyno and Mojo Rawley

Bray Wyatt vs Luke Harper

-The action immediately spills to the outside where Harper tosses Bray over the barricade.

-Each man hits a couple moves back in the ring. Harper tosses Bray to the outside then hits a dive.

-Harper catches Bray with an elbow and follows it up with a superkick and discus clothesline but Bray grabs the rope before two.

-Bray all of the sudden gets a possessed look on his face and it distracts Bray. Harper hits Sister Abigail then for the win.

-After the match Orton appears in the dirt of Sister Abigail or something with a weird cross and shoves it in the dirt. Okay?

WINNER: Bray Wyatt

OVERALL: Smackdown did a better job hyping Wrestlemania than RAW. But that’s not an achievement. The Cena/Nikki/Miz/Maryse stuff was fantastic. They did it. They actually have me invested in this match. It might be the best built match going into Mania. If they try to do AJ/Shane as an actual wrestling match it is going to come off bad. And that is mostly because AJ will have to sell Shane’s weak punches. And the WWE Title match just got dumber and dumber as the build went along. WHY did the WWE go this route with it?

Finally, it sucks that the Smackdown women and the tag team division is getting the shaft at Mania. The women have been better than the RAW women over the last few months. And of course, we have to have an awful musical performance on the main show instead of the women. Or a match for the tag titles. It’s awful.

Until Next Time,

Justin C

Follow Me On Twitter @JCWonka