It’s time for a superstar shake up! That means…Well I’m not really sure what that means, but I’m sure we’ll be able to figure it out.
Quick Update: I can’t figure this out. We open with the dulcet tones of John Cena’s music and it’s not too long before it’s obvious The Miz is here! Also Maryse. They’re cutting a great promo as John and Nikki, but because I can never follow anything I don’t realize this means these two have actually joined Raw. I thought they were just here for a superstar shake up party or something. Ditto for when Dean Ambrose hits the scene and has a hilarious exchange with Miz and Maryse where he mistakes them for the real Cena and Nikki. After they angrily declare who they are he gives Miz a dirty deeds for his trouble and apparently he’s on Raw now. Cool.
Kurt Angle is backstage in his curtain office and he’s interrupted by Sami Zayn who wants to know if he’s going to Smackdown. Kurt says there is a lot of interest in Sami, but before anything else can happen Miz and Maryse interrupt and it ends up in a match later tonight. Big surprises here.
The Revival vs New Day (Big E & Xavier)
It’s so exciting to see The Revival out here on Raw. Big E and Xavier have a lot of fire under them for the attack on Kofi last week. Apparently he’s got a broken ankle courtesy of TOP GUYS and his boys have to fight for his honor. Unfortunately The Revival are too hot, and of course they pick up the win. I really did like Big E and Xavier’s intensity in this match and I hope they keep it up.
Winner: The Revival
Neville and TJ Perkins have a run in backstage where Neville tries to fill TJ’s head with misgivings about Austin Aries and how Austin is stealing TJ’s spot and opportunities. He says he is the only man who respects TJ. Aries interrupts but it seems TJ’s head is filled with questions. Maybe he believes it!
Curt Hawkins is here because of the Superstar Shake up but he just gets knocked out by The Big Show.
Austin Aries vs TJ Perkins
King Neville is on commentary for this match and his creepiness is honestly distracting me from this match. TJ Perkins doesn’t do much for me still so maybe a shake up for him, making him a heel might help! If that’s what they’re doing here sowing the seeds of doubt between he and Aries. Aries is in control for most of the match but lets his showboating get him in trouble when he nearly gets counted out while chatting with Neville on the ramp. He gets back in the ring only to get rolled up by TJ who pulls out a win over A double. Well. Good for him. After the match Aries is bitching Neville out when TJ pulls the trigger on that heel turn and beats up Aries from behind. Well if he is going to be a bad guy he has to get rid of those Nickelodeon tights. Looks like King Neville smartly got in TJ Perkins head.
Winner: TJ Perkins
Seth Rollins is out cutting a promo about all the unfinished business he has on Raw which means in the Casper movie universe he would not be able to pass on to the other side. He has to definitely beat up Samoa Joe at least. Also go for the Universal Title again! He thinks that maybe Stephanie might want him shipped off to Smackdown Live because he helped put her through a table at Wrestlemania, but he says he’s not going. It’ll take an army to send him away! He’s yelling all this at Stephanie who is not here, but Kurt Angle is and his music hits. Kurt says Stephanie wants him gone, but Seth Rollins showed him something at Wrestlemania. While Kurt won a gold medal with a broken freakin’ neck, Seth was the one legged man who won an ass kicking contest. So he has a home on Raw as long as Kurt Angle is around. Then Kurt goes to leave and Samoa Joe attacks Seth only to kind of get his ass kicked. Nice.
Kevin Owens is backstage with Chuck Caruso and says he’s the #1 title holder on Raw so no way he can leave. Chuck asks about Dean Ambrose but KO doesn’t care. He’s the premiere champion on Raw.
Charlotte vs Nia Jax
Well this match takes a turn when I totally miss Nia drop Charlotte right on her head because I’m so disappointed in the move directly before it. I want Nia to do well, but everything tonight looked sloppy and even her power moves just look like she’s starting and stopping. Charlotte also smacks her head right on the ground after a top rope moonsault to the outside. This is an ugly match. Charlotte tries. She doesn’t win with a Natural Selection , and can’t get the Figure 8 in. Charlotte loses. I would imagine this spells her leaving for Smackdown.
Winner: Nia Jax
DURING THIS MATCH The Drifter was drifting through the crowd. Corey Graves did not see him.
Finn Balor vs Jinder Mahal
We get a nice package about Finn before hand and everybody loves him! Then he’s fighting Jinder Mahal because he has to go over somebody who doesn’t matter. Poor Jinder. I met him once and he was the nicest fellow. He says he is not on the juice, so I will give him the benefit of the doubt. Jinder does get a decent couple of moves in, including a hard hitting forearm, but of course Finn wins.
Winner: Finn Balor
After the match Bray Wyatt makes a surprise appearance on screen and waxes poetic. So for some reason he’s coming to Raw. This makes sense, kind of, but now Bray is in a feud with Finn that again – both need to win. Bray can’t just keep losing all the time and have me take him seriously. It’s okay though because I do not take him seriously anymore.
Sami Zayn vs The Miz
I just love watching Maryse. She steps in front of Miz before Sami can leap over the ropes, and also pulls him out of the ring to avoid a helluva kick. It’s such a lovely little touch. This is a fun match, Sami and Miz put on a nice show. In a surprising twist Sami Zayn gets a victory! With an upset roll up. That’s two tonight! Good match.
Winner: Sami Zayn
There’s a sit down interview with Roman Reigns and Michael Cole that is just kind of words for me about beating Undertaker. Before too long BRAUN interrupts and destroys Roman with the usual backstage shenanigans. It’s beautiful. BRAUN is a babyface now I think. He doesn’t like how disrespectful Roman is being about The Undertaker!
Now I have to take a minute here to say what followed was the greatest thing I’ve seen in wrestling in a long time. Braun puts Roman through a table but he isn’t done. He drops him on a storage…box thing. The EMTs put him on a stretcher, but BRAUN. IS. NOT. DONE. He then takes Roman’s stretcher and tosses it down a dock. Speculation was this was a dummy but I do not care. The EMTs take an eternity to get down to Roman and get him in an ambulance. BUT BRAUN. IS. NOT. DONE. He attacks Roman inside the ambulance. Is not done. HE FLIPS. THE. AMBULANCE. HE IS A MACHINE. BRAUN IS EVERYTHING. This is match of the night.
Sheamus & Cesaro & Hardy Boyz vs The Club & The Shining Stars
How could I possibly care after what I just saw? Before this match starts The Drifter actually walks by commentary. Corey is unhappy. Sheamus and Cesaro start off the match looking great, but it’s the Hardys who bring it home.
Winner: Sheamus & Cesaro & Hardy Boyz
Dana Brooke in the back reading about how to be her own protege before Emma comes out and demands she be her protege again but Dana shoots her down. Too bad. I like them together. Still, Raw needs lady faces.
Bayley is supposed to come out, but instead we get Sasha Banks who introduces Bayley saying she has unfinished business. It actually almost looks like we’re getting the Sasha heel turn, but Alexa Bliss interrupts! She is the newest member of the Raw roster! She talks about how weird the Sasha/Bayley love fest is but before she can get too far Mickie James interrupts as well. She’s touting her accomplishments when Nia Jax attacks her on the ramp, then kills Sasha and Bayley. She stands tall and stares down Alexa Bliss as she leaves. What a crazy segment – still no Sasha turn though.
Dean Ambrose vs Kevin Owens
I know some people are sick of Dean Ambrose but I am not one of them. While I wish he’d get rid of some of his cornier maneuvers, I think he’s got a great character who is a great time and just needs his chances to shine. He does it so well when given the chance. This is a great match with both guys looking great throughout. Dean’s ribs are worked on throughout, and I’m left wondering why he hasn’t entered DDP rib taping territory yet. In another surprising twist tonight the match ends with Dean Ambrose winning CLEAN. Now isn’t that a lovely thing. A definitive end to a main event match! I suspect we will see Kevin Owens going to Smackdown tomorrow.
Winner: Dean Ambrose
After the match Chris Jericho’s music hits and Dean decides this is not his fight. He bails, but Jericho hits the ring and hits a code breaker. We end the show with Chris Jericho’s incredibly red eyes staring us down. Nice.
Final Thoughts: This was a really fun Raw. I know tis the season and all, but I’m always hoping it’ll keep up throughout the year. I’m curious what they’re going to do tomorrow on Smackdown as they were kind of gutted with this Shakeup. It serves to reason they’ll get a good number of people back tomorrow. I would catch this one if you could. Great show with a solid main event.
WATCH THIS MATCH: BRAUN vs Roman Reigns & the Backstage area. Find this whole segment. It is thoroughly enjoyable.
SKIP THIS MATCH: Charlotte vs Nia Jax Charlotte almost died. Nia did not look intimidating outside that attempted murder. It’s a shame.
Well I am excited for next week! And for what happens tomorrow. You can always find me at hm_pufnstuf on twitter. Have a great wrestling week!