WWE Raw Review 6.5.17 – with Heather

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THE RAW AFTER EXTREME RULES!  WOOO!  I’m sure very exciting things happened last night that will lead us seamlessly into an exhilarating and action packed Raw.  I mean, what could go wrong?!  Let’s see how my optimism holds up.

WE JOIN THIS RAW ALREADY IN PROGRESS ~  Meaning I missed whatever Bray Wyatt rambled about to open it, and I pick up as Roman Reigns gets a chorus of boos and little kid cheers to enter the ring.  He talks about being the big dawg and marking his territory which is weird, and then we have a fast paced start to an apparent match!  Well hot dog!

Roman Reigns vs Bray Wyatt

This match is hard hitting from the beginning and it is certainly not boring.  The problem is that I just do not care about either guy at this point.  Bray loses ALL of the time, and while i understand people have to lose – he’s not scaring anyone if they keep beating him and his whole gimmick is that he’s too scary to fight.  Doesn’t work for me.  Roman as a good guy doesn’t work for me.  The match however was very good, and if you’re casually watching and you get either guy I think you’d be in for a treat watching this.  There are about 19 Superman punches.  He wins with a superman punch, spear combination.

Winner: Roman Reigns

There’s a backstage segment with Chuck Caruso and Enzo and Cass where Cass cements that he probably attacked Enzo himself.  HOW COULD I BE SO BLIND?  They’re fighting Anderson and Gallows tonight because we haven’t seen it for at least 3 weeks.

Alexa Bliss is backstage with Kurt Angle who is trying to read something or type something on his phone, I don’t know he seems perplexed.  Alexa says she is done with Bayley now and Kurt says she promised Nia Jax a match and after a lot of “seriously”s???  Alexa sulks away to prepare for that match which is tonight.

The Drifter is in the ring singing a beautiful song about Dean Ambrose losing his Intercontinental Title last night, which is a tragedy, and Dean interrupts to beat The Drifter up and call for The Miz.  The Miz appears backstage with Maryse and says there will be no rematch tonight – he’s having a celebration!  Then The Drifter attacks Dean from behind.   I really enjoy The Drifter because I’m weird, and I’m happy to hear this crowd react to him so hatefully.  I hope it works out for him in this crazy mixed up world.

After this all goes down, Dean confronts by Kurt Angle backstage.  He wants to know where Miz’s dressing room is, but Kurt tells him he’s ordering to go home.  Yeah, I bet that will happen.

Well, we had that great match in the first hour so now we get more talking but this is a good one.  Samoa Joe is out to talk about his win at Extreme Rules.  He’s now the #1 contender and he is not afraid of Brock Lesnar.  He wants him, he wants Paul Heyman – as his advocate, helping him!  And he wants the Universal Title.  As he talks Paul Heyman himself interrupts and talks up Samoa Joe.  How deserving he is of his shot at the title.  He says Brock doesn’t fear Samoa Joe either.  He says something about being a jew and that’s pretty weird.  He says he’s afraid that Brock doesn’t fear Joe because that’s what Joe wants.  He’s the worst case scenario because Joe wants to take the fight to Brock Lesnar, and even if Joe loses he’ll still take a piece of Brock with him and he will never be the same.

After, this segment becomes pure magic for me.  Joe grabs Heyman and pulls him to the corner off mic talking calmly the whole time about how disappointed he is Paul’s client didn’t escort him to the ring.  That he wants him to send a message to Brock.  This is his fault.  He wants him to describe “in excruciating detail like only he can” what Brock’s future holds.  He then puts Heyman in the Coquina clutch and keeps telling him to tell Brock.  The crowd is HOT for this segment the entire time and it is AWESOME.  The off mic is AWESOME. As the crowd chants “WE WANT BROCK” and Joe leaves the ring he yells “AND SO DO I” ending it better than I could have hoped.  Awesome.

Backstage Kurt yells at Samoa Joe for what he did and Seth Rollins jumps in to back Kurt up.  He wants to take the fight to Joe tonight so that is our main event it looks like.  Well, we’ve seen it before but I love both guys and really don’t care.

Sheamus & Cesaro vs Heath Slater & Rhyno

Well SheaSaro get the upperhand pretty quickly and never lose it.  They beat Slater and Rhyno only to grab the mics after and talk shit on the Hardys about how sorry they are they came back.  Probably not as sorry as Heath and Rhyno are to be on Raw instead of Smackdown.

Winners: Sheamus & Cesaro

TJP Backstage wants a match with Neville since he’s been mauling people for him for two months!  Neville says if TJP can beat Mustafa Ali he will talk to Kurt about him getting a match.  He looks fishy though.

Mustafa Ali vs TJ Perkins

I like Mustafa Ali and while I think TJP is super talented I’ve not always been his biggest fan.  I think he’s done well as Neville’s crony though, and he has a good showcase here to look like a contender for the Cruiserweight title.  Ali tries to get his inverted 450 in, but TJP stops him and gets the win.  Afterwards as he goes up the ramp, Neville comes out and tells him Kurt won’t give TJP the shot.  When TJ protests and says they should go take it up with Kurt right now, Neville attacks and tells him their match will happen tomorrow on 205 Live.  Hey!  I’ll be there so at least I’ll get Neville.

Winner: TJ Perkins

Kurt Angle comes to the announce table to have a little pow wow with Corey Graves but we’re still not to know what it’s all about.

Backstage Alexa tries to get some back up from Mickie James and Dana Brooke who she says have been unfairly overlooked for Nia Jax!  They don’t buy it though, and say they’ll be ringside for her “Nia Jax Problem”.

Backstage Mike Rome tries to get a word with Kurt Angle about what he talked to Corey about but Kurt says it’s private.  He then leaves the building and before the door can close  – a wild Dean Ambrose appears!  He’s back!!  (We also catch a shot of The Revival in the background which is important because…)

They tell us Miz and Maryse are up next but then cut to a shot of someone buried under some rubble!  Enzo comes to the scene and harasses the referee who happens by, and annoyingly asks Cass what happened.  Cass hands Enzo a chain.  BAH GAWD I THINK THAT’S ONE OF ENZO’S CHAINS!  When we get back ENzo just cries about how he and Cass have a match coming up and so Cass has to be okay and help him because he can’t do it alone.  He’s a terrible friend.  Still think Cass did it himself!

There’s a celebration for The Miz in the ring and Maryse brings him out while a dancing bear with a congratulations sign hangs out in the ring.  There is 100% no way this bear isn’t Dean Ambrose.  Except that Miz and Maryse both say they didn’t get the bear AND IT ISN’T AMBROSE.  This night is just full of surprises isn’t it.  We get a giant present brought to the ring now and Miz attacks it thinking it’s Ambrose, but SWERVE IT IS NOT!  It’s a grandfather clock Maryse got him and she is furious and leaves.  Miz calls after her ala Will Arnett in Hot Rod and then blames Ambrose for it all.  Who finally shows up disguised as a camera man and takes Dean out with a Dirty Deeds.  As intense and awesome as that Samoe Joe/Heyman promo was earlier this one was almost as awesome in a hilarious way.

Now we get Enzo Amore searching for a partner to help him fight The Club and he finds one in another 7 foot tall buddy.

Enzo Amore & The Big Show vs The Club

I…took a shower.  So Enzo & The Big Show won.

Winners: Enzo & Big Show

Backstage Alexa interview which I also missed.  Which sucks because she is awesome and I should watch all things Alexa.  Nia Jax needs to stop smiling.  She just seems too nice.

Alexa Bliss vs Nia Jax

Well this match doesn’t really get going because after just a minute or two Alexa Bliss gets Mickie James and Dana Brooke who did come to ringside to watch to beat her up causing a DQ.  Nia is of course furious after and beats both of them up and…Well.  I guess this happened.  I mean I wouldn’t want Nia to lose if she’s supposed to be built huge and I don’t want Alexa to lose so this is a sort of best case scenario.  Would have liked a women’s match though.

Winner: Alexa Bliss via DQ

Backstage Heyman takes a phone call – dun dun dun – it’s Brock.  He’ll unleash the beast next week.

Seth Rollins vs Samoa Joe

Really good match.  Joe dominates through most of the beginning but once Seth hits his stride he’s on top of his game.  He’s a fast paced wrestler and he knows how to get the crowd behind him.  I love how fluid he is.  It was a good main event that showcased both guys and did the right thing by not having either guy lose clean.  I love a good clean finish but I don’t think either guy could really afford to have the blemish on his record right now so we get the next best thing – the beginning of a new feud apparently.  Right before Seth can finish Joe off the creepy Bray Wyatt cut happens.  Bray doesn’t appear but it’s enough to distract Rollins who is then caught up in the Coquina Clutch.

Winner: Samoa Joe

FINAL THOUGHTS: I loved this Raw.  I loved it despite there being only two good matches.  I hate to admit it was the talking segments and the backstages that really put it over the top, but the key to making a great show is making sure all pieces work.  The two matches that WERE good were REALLY good and I enjoyed them both and they began and ended the show so that is smart booking.  What would be smarter is advertising the matches BEFORE the show, (in addition to giving us new matches but I’ll at least take the main again).  I don’t particularly want Bray Wyatt to fight Seth Rollins, but hey it probably means Seth will take the feud so.  That Heyman/Joe and Miz/Dean stuff was gold.

WATCH THIS MATCH: If I can’t say to watch the Samoa Joe vs Paul Heyman promo than I’ll go Samoa Joe vs Seth Rollins.   I didn’t love the ending, but it makes sense and I get why they did it.  DIdn’t want either guy to lose either.

SKIP THIS MATCH: Most of the other matches are nothing but filler, but I skipped Enzo & Big Show vs The Club so you sure can too.  I would watch this Raw though.  It never moved very slowly.

You wanna talk shop, find me on twitter at HM_pufnstuf.   My enthusiasm remained til the end!  Love!

 

 

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