Quick Hits: WWE Smackdown Live 7.4.17
-Yeah, I’m not a big Fourth of July guy so you get my live report tonight!
-John Cena returns. He said people are spreading false rumors about his future and people are calling him a part-timing mascot.
-Cena said he is a full timer. And he is a free agent because if his time in the WWE is limited, he is going down in a blaze of glory.
-So Cena gets to do whatever the fuck he wants because he is John Cena? Okay.
-OUT COMES HANDSOME RUSEV! Rusev asks where his comeback commercials are. Rusev said Cena’s American Dream is a lie just like America is a joke.
-Rusev insults America by saying all we do is eat hot dogs and sit around on the 4th of July.
-Cena challenges Rusev to a Flag match tonight, but Rusev said that they will fight on his terms.
Win And Your In: AJ Styles vs Chad Gable
-The winner gets to be in the #1 Contender Battle Royal later for the U.S. Title. Apparently Kevin Owens complained earlier about these two being in it, so Daniel Bryan said only one can be in.
-Styles and Gable exchange some chain wrestling before Styles catches Gable with a dropkick.
-This time chops are exchanged. Styles ducks the last one and catches Styles with a backbreaker.
-Styles goes for a Phenomenal Forearm but Gable knocks Styles off the ropes.
-Styles recovers after a suplex to Gable in the corner and goes for the Styles Clash but Gable counters into the ankle lock.
-Styles escapes and applies the Calf Crusher but Gable escapes.
-Styles connects on a Pele Kick then connects with the Phenomenal Forearm for the win. Fun match.
WINNER: AJ Styles
-Carmella said everyone can’t always get what you want, and now she is Ms. MITB.
-Carmella said she gets to pick when she beats Naomi, and is promptly interrupted by Naomi.
-Naomi said her GLOW will always be ready and tells Carmella to bring it any time, anywhere.
-Daniel Bryan came out. He said James Ellsworth is banned from the building, fined $10,000, and suspended for 30 days. And if he doesn’t comply with all of these rules, Carmella loses her MITB Briefcase. Some Carmellabration that was.
SDLive Women’s Championship: Naomi (c) vs Lana- For the Third Time For the Last Time
-Naomi immediately counters Lana into a submission for the win. HAHAHAHA
-After the match Tamina comes out and tells Lana to get up and come with her. Okay then.
-Baron Corbin attacks Nakamura backstage but Nakamura fights him off.
Rap Battle: New Day vs The Usos
-I have no idea how I’m going to commentate on this.
-The Usos come out with a bunch of “Day Ones.” New Day then has their own entourage.
-One of the Usos made a joke about Xaiver being on Paige’s sec tape: “Don’t get all R rated like your boy Xaiver Woods.”
-New Day is totally going PG with their stuff. The Usos aren’t.
-Xaiver said the Usos should be carrying the bags for Roman. Usos attacked New Day and Wale disqualified them and gave New Day the win.
Aiden English vs Randy Orton
-Orton interrupts English’s song. So English attacks Orton coming down from the turnbuckle with the microphone then slams him into the steps.
-English keeps control for a little bit. But Orton comes back and tosses English over the table then DDTs him off it.
-Orton uses the steps and gets DQ’d. He then RKOs English in the ring.
WINNER via DQ: Aiden English
-Jinder Mahal came out. He talked about getting disrespected in America. Orton said Jinder will always be a jackass.
-Tyler Breeze, I mean Tenay Young, interviewed Tye Dillinger about his strategy for the battle royal later as Fandango listened on in disguise.
-Mike and Maria Kanellis were interviewed. The camera cord got cut mid-way through the interview. When it came back Sami Zayn accidentally interrupted them again.
Independence Day Battle Royal, Winner Becomes #1 Contender For The U.S. Title
-This is a very jobberific battle royal outside of AJ Styles.
-Surprisingly, Dolph Ziggler is eliminated first.
-Breeze jumps into the arms of an eliminated Fandango and Dango puts him back in the ring, only to be eliminated by Rowan.
-Mojo eliminates Ryder.
-The final 3 is Tye Dillinger, Sami Zayn and AJ Styles. Zayn eliminates Dillinger.
-Sami misses a Helluva Kick and almost goes over the top but hangs on. Styles and Zayn battle for position but Styles eliminates Zayn with a Pele Kick.
-KO attacks Styles after the match. KO trash talks but Styles catches him with a Pele Kick and KO bails.
WINNER: AJ Styles
Until Next Time,
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