Quick Hits: WWE Smackdown Live 7.4.17

-Yeah, I’m not a big Fourth of July guy so you get my live report tonight!

BRRRRRAAAPPPADDDOOOO

-John Cena returns. He said people are spreading false rumors about his future and people are calling him a part-timing mascot.

-Cena said he is a full timer. And he is a free agent because if his time in the WWE is limited, he is going down in a blaze of glory.

-So Cena gets to do whatever the fuck he wants because he is John Cena? Okay.

-OUT COMES HANDSOME RUSEV! Rusev asks where his comeback commercials are. Rusev said Cena’s American Dream is a lie just like America is a joke.

-Rusev insults America by saying all we do is eat hot dogs and sit around on the 4th of July.

-Cena challenges Rusev to a Flag match tonight, but Rusev said that they will fight on his terms.

Win And Your In: AJ Styles vs Chad Gable

-The winner gets to be in the #1 Contender Battle Royal later for the U.S. Title. Apparently Kevin Owens complained earlier about these two being in it, so Daniel Bryan said only one can be in.

-Styles and Gable exchange some chain wrestling before Styles catches Gable with a dropkick.

-This time chops are exchanged. Styles ducks the last one and catches Styles with a backbreaker.

-Styles goes for a Phenomenal Forearm but Gable knocks Styles off the ropes.

-Styles recovers after a suplex to Gable in the corner and goes for the Styles Clash but Gable counters into the ankle lock.

-Styles escapes and applies the Calf Crusher but Gable escapes.

-Styles connects on a Pele Kick then connects with the Phenomenal Forearm for the win. Fun match.

WINNER: AJ Styles

Carmellabration

-Carmella said everyone can’t always get what you want, and now she is Ms. MITB.

-Carmella said she gets to pick when she beats Naomi, and is promptly interrupted by Naomi.

-Naomi said her GLOW will always be ready and tells Carmella to bring it any time, anywhere.

-Daniel Bryan came out. He said James Ellsworth is banned from the building, fined $10,000, and suspended for 30 days. And if he doesn’t comply with all of these rules, Carmella loses her MITB Briefcase. Some Carmellabration that was.

SDLive Women’s Championship: Naomi (c) vs Lana- For the Third Time For the Last Time

-Naomi immediately counters Lana into a submission for the win. HAHAHAHA

WINNER: Naomi

-After the match Tamina comes out and tells Lana to get up and come with her. Okay then.

-Baron Corbin attacks Nakamura backstage but Nakamura fights him off.

Rap Battle: New Day vs The Usos

-I have no idea how I’m going to commentate on this.

-The Usos come out with a bunch of “Day Ones.” New Day then has their own entourage.

-One of the Usos made a joke about Xaiver being on Paige’s sec tape: “Don’t get all R rated like your boy Xaiver Woods.”

-New Day is totally going PG with their stuff. The Usos aren’t.

-Xaiver said the Usos should be carrying the bags for Roman. Usos attacked New Day and Wale disqualified them and gave New Day the win.

Aiden English vs Randy Orton

-Orton interrupts English’s song. So English attacks Orton coming down from the turnbuckle with the microphone then slams him into the steps.

-English keeps control for a little bit. But Orton comes back and tosses English over the table then DDTs him off it.

-Orton uses the steps and gets DQ’d. He then RKOs English in the ring.

WINNER via DQ: Aiden English

-Jinder Mahal came out. He talked about getting disrespected in America. Orton said Jinder will always be a jackass.

-Tyler Breeze, I mean Tenay Young, interviewed Tye Dillinger about his strategy for the battle royal later as Fandango listened on in disguise.

-Mike and Maria Kanellis were interviewed. The camera cord got cut mid-way through the interview. When it came back Sami Zayn accidentally interrupted them again.

Independence Day Battle Royal, Winner Becomes #1 Contender For The U.S. Title

-This is a very jobberific battle royal outside of AJ Styles.

-Surprisingly, Dolph Ziggler is eliminated first.

-Breeze jumps into the arms of an eliminated Fandango and Dango puts him back in the ring, only to be eliminated by Rowan.

-Mojo eliminates Ryder.

-The final 3 is Tye Dillinger, Sami Zayn and AJ Styles. Zayn eliminates Dillinger.

-Sami misses a Helluva Kick and almost goes over the top but hangs on. Styles and Zayn battle for position but Styles eliminates Zayn with a Pele Kick.

-KO attacks Styles after the match. KO trash talks but Styles catches him with a Pele Kick and KO bails.

WINNER: AJ Styles

Until Next Time,

Justin C

Follow Me On Twitter @JCWonka

 

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