Justin C here. After watching the G1 all week, I have no idea how Battleground is going to keep me entertained. I’ll try my best. Maybe I should call this “Justin C Watches The Boring of the WWE?”
Tye Dillinger vs Aiden English
-English controls into “commercial” where the WWE advertises the show we are currently going to watch on the Network.
-Dillinger catches English with a dropkick. He goes for the Tye-Breaker but English bails to the outside. Back in the ring English hits a spinebuster.
-English ended up getting the win when I wasn’t looking. I bet Dillinger still wishes he was in NXT.
WINNER: Aiden English
Smackdown Live Tag Team Championship: The Usos (c) vs The New Day
-Big E is the odd New Day member out tonight. Xaiver gets grabbed by Jimmy and Jey hits a flying forearm. That wouldn’t have happened to Big E if he was in the ring.
-The Usos start working over Xaiver early and often. I’m waiting for an add to play about a match going on tonight that tells us to order the WWE Network.
-Woods headbutts Jey off the top then hits a sitout dropkick. He finally makes the hot tag to Kofi.
-Kofi goes for the trust fall to the outside but the Usos catch him and powerbomb him on the floor.
-Jimmy catches Kofi going for the honor roll. He runs Woods neck into the corner then Jey hits a Samoan Drop for two.
-Xaiver goes for a springboard elbow into the ring. But Jey comes flying into the picture and eats a superkick but only gets two.
-New Day hits the Midnight Hour after Kofi recovers but only get two as well.
-Jimmy catches Kofi with a superkick and Jey with a top rope splash. But guess what? That’s right, only two.
-The Usos go for a double splash. But Jey gets pushed off by Woods and Jimmy misses. Kofi hits Trouble in Paradise and Woods connects on the springboard elbow for the win.
WINNERS and NEW Smackdown Live Tag Team Champions: New Day- Very good opening match with some solid near falls. I thought the win was coming here for New Day. Usos are still a great act together and I’m expecting a rematch at SummerSlam.
Shinsuke Nakamura vs Baron Corbin
-Corbin slows the match down three minutes in with a bear hug because of course he does.
-They go to the outside where Corbin slams Nakamura into the barricade a few times.
-Corbin goes back to the bear hug. Jeeezuss.
-Nakamurs thankfully escapes with some elbows then a couple dropkicks.
-Corbin misses a charge but comes right back in and clotheslines Nakamura and he sells it by almost landing on his head.
-Nakamura hits a knee on Corbin while going for a suplex. He hits a couple more than goes for Kinsasha but walks right into the Deep Six from Corbin.
-Nakamura connects on a backstabber then a leg to the back of the head. He gets ready for Kinsasha but Corbin isn’t moving. Nakamura lifts up Corbin but Corbin low blows him and the ref calls for the bell.
WINNER via DQ: Shinsuke Nakamura- Well that was dumb. The match was way too slow for the first half of it and the result did nothing for either guy unless Corbin is cashing in later.
Five Way Elimination Match, Winner Faces Naomi At SummerSlam: Charlotte Flair vs Becky Lynch vs Lana vs Tamina vs Natalya
-Oh great I get to listen to Naomi on commentary. She’s not good at it FYI.
-Lana tosses Becky into the announce table then pulls Natalya out of the ring. Lana and Tamina then double team Charlotte.
-Lana completely whiffs on one kick then barely connects on the other and the crowd recognizes it.
-Thankfully Becky returns and her and Charlotte take out Tamina and Lana.
-Everyone gets a big move in. Natalya applies the Sharpshooter on Charlotte but Lana stupidly breaks it up.
-Becky applies the Disarmer. Tamina breaks it up. Tamina spears Charlotte off the apron to the outside. Becky applies the Disarmer again but Tamina breaks it up. Tamina goes for a Samoan Drop but Becky counters into a Disarmer and Tamina taps.
-Becky applies the Disarmer to Lana and she taps.
-Natalya rolls up Becky and she is eliminated.
***Becky Lynch Elimianted***
-Natalya applies a cross armbreaker but Charlotte lifts her up and powerbombs Natty.
-Charlotte goes for the moonsault but Natalya gets the knees up. Natalya then throws Charlotte head first into the turnbuckle and gets the pin.
WINNER: Natalya- I guess I can live with the result. I think she deserves a Title run for helping out and getting the women’s division back on track. This has to mean Charlotte and Becky are teaming up for something at SummerSlam. No way they are left off the show.
United States Championship: AJ Styles (c) vs Kevin Owens
-The action goes outside early on. Styles misses a dive and goes into the barricade and Owens crotches him into the ring post.
-KO tries to wear Styles down with a headlock.
-Styles escapes and hits a barrage of forearms and kicks.
-KO goes for a rollup but gets two. Styles comes back with a fireman’s carry neckbreaker. He goes for the springboard 450 splash but KO gets his knees up.
-Styles escapes a superplex attempt. He goes for a Phenomenal Forearm but KO bails to the outside then takes out Styles legs on the apron and Styles goes shoulder first into it.
-Styles goes for the Styles Clash but can’t lift KO because of the shoulder. KO then lifts Styles and tosses him right into the referee.
-Styles applies the Calf Crusher, KO counters into the crossface then Styles counters into a crossface. KO reverses it into a pinfall attempt and the ref counts three for the win.
WINNER and NEW United States Champion: Kevin Owens- That was clearly a double pin so expect a rematch. Maybe it is just me but I was disappointed in the match itself. It never seemed to get out of second gear.
Flag Match: John Cena vs Rusev
-So you do have to grab the flag and take it up past a line on the ramp. STUPID.
-Rusev goes for the flag early but Cena stops him and face plants him off the top.
-Rusev stops Cena and now he works over Cena. The crowd isn’t into it at all when the finish ends a certain way.
-Rusev catches Cena coming off the top with a powerbomb then grabs the Bulgarian flag.
-Cena moves out of the way of a charging Rusev and Rusev goes into the post. Cena hits the AA and goes for the flag. Rusev stops him but Cena counters into the STF.
-Cena grabs the flag but walks into a superkick from Rusev. Cena drops the flag and instantly becomes an American disgrace.
-They brawl up the ramp. Rusev catches Cena and hits a fallaway slam on the stage.
-Rusev sets up some tables next to the American Flag pedestal. He could have put the flag up three times by now.
-Rusev applies the Accolade and goes to put the flag into the base but Cena stops it. Cena blocks another Accolade attempt and puts Rusev through both tables and puts the flag in the stand.
WINNER: John Cena- Well that was something stupid. When flags are involved wrestlers go just as slow as they do in ladder matches apparently. Poor Rusev getting this kind of gimmick is awful. And losing in his first match back.
-The Fashion Police try to solve the case. The Ascension says it was them. But Fandango says they were at the Eddie Money concert last week. The lights go out. Breeze then Fandango are attacked then Fandango gets dragged away.
Mike Kanellis vs Sami Zayn
-I legit forgot about this match until now.
-Sami goes for a dive to the outside but Maria pushes Mike out of the way.
-Mike remains in control until Sami tosses him to the outside and actually hits a dive this time.
-Sami goes for the Exploder Suplex but Maria comes in again. Sami counters Mike’s finisher and hits it, then the Helluva Kick for the win.
WINNER: Sami Zayn- At least Sami won
Punjabi Prison Match for the WWE Championship: Jinder Mahal (c) vs Randy Orton
-Jinder calls for one of the four doors to open immediately. No one gets though it in 60 seconds.
-Door #2 open. Door #2 shut. This is basic match 101 between these two.
-Door #3 open. Door #3 shut. Orton hit some suplexes into the cage in between. Crowd couldn’t care less.
-Door 4 open. Orton hits the RKO but the Singh brothers pull Jinder out and the door closes. Orton climbs over and they both get to the outer structure.
-Jinder gets knocked off the structure but Orton gets pulled off by the Singh brothers.
-Orton takes out the Singh brothers. Jinder pulls some kendo sticks out from under the ring and uses them.
-One of the Singh brothers gets to the outside. Orton punches him off the cages and he goes through the announce table.
-Orton takes out the other Singh Brother with a chair and then Jinder.
-Orton climbs the cage and THE GREAT KHALI SHOWS UP. THIS IS HELL ISN’T IT?
-Khali shakes the cage then grabs Orton and chokes him while Jinder climbs over and wins.
WINNER and STILL WWE Champion: Jinder Mahal- One of the worst World Champions of all time helped the worst WWE Champion of all time win the worst gimmick match ever. This is what hell looks like isn’t it?
Overall, this was a bad show. The opening tag title match was the highlight. Owens/Styles and Nakamura/Corbin were disappointing and had bad endings. And the main event was the drizzling shits. Catch the opener and that’s it.
Until Next Time,
Follow Me On Twitter @JCWonka