After a break to watch the NCAA Tournament and catch up on all the recent WWE news, I’m back to watching WCW! I really hate that they just added Thunder to the Network, because now I feel like I have to go back and start watching it again. Vince Russo isn’t on TV anymore. I don’t really know when he is out of power. I thought it might be by this point, but there is some Russo-esque shit on this show.
Scott Steiner is finally getting the main event run he probably should have gotten a long time ago. He’s the most over guy in the company. Goldberg is starting another streak. But everything is just there, and you can tell people know that things are starting to fall apart. But at least we get Stevie Ray on commentary!
Three Way Dance For The WCW Tag Team Championship: Mark Jindrak and Sean O’Haire (c) vs The Boogie Knights vs The Filthy Animals
Mark Madden already starts off well, comparing Jindrak and O’Haire to the Road Warriors and Arn Anderson/Tully Blanchard. The Boogie Knights are Disco Inferno and a bald Alex Wright and Kidman has rejoined the Filthy Animals to team with Kidman. Konnan says the Boogie Knights and Cranberries are big hits at the local bath houses in Vegas. Konnan sucks on commentary. There’s a nice electric chair suplex spot off the top. I’ll give these guys credit, they have the crowd into it. O’Haire ends up hitting a Swanton on Disco for the win. The action was nonstop, so I’ll give them credit for that. Probably one of the better openers they had in awhile. Sergeant AWOL comes out to save the Filthy Animals from a beat down for some reason. I guess he had a hardcore match next.
WCW Hardcore Championship: Reno (c) vs Sergeant AWOL
I still don’t get Reno’s outfit. It looks like he is wearing a sumo outfit over khaki shorts. Reno puts AWOL through a table early. AWOL then puts a garbage can over Reno’s head and kicks it. He does the same thing against the apron. AWOL then “too sweets” Stevie Ray, because I guess he is AWOL’s favorite nWo member of all time? Reno low blows AWOL on the ramp. Reno keeps sticking his tongue out and flicking it like he’s ready to lick some pussy or something. It’s weird. Reno stacks up two tables, but the time allowed AWOL to recover and backdrops Reno through two tables. AWOL grabs the fakest computer you’ll ever see in the back and throws it at Reno but misses. AWOL tries dropping Reno on a table but Reno awkwardly lands on it. They go back to the ring. This match is dragggiinnnngggg. AWOL has to wait for Reno to get his breath back, then Reno hits him with a chair and hits the Cross Rhodes for the win.
Goldberg ran head first into the ringpost at Thunder. Kronik tells the Nevada Athletic Commission they shouldn’t clear Goldberg. Hey if it saves us from a Kronik match I’m all for it.
Chuck Palumbo and Sean Stasiak vs Lt. Loco and Cpl. Cajun
I just don’t care about M.I.A. Like, why would anyone take these guys seriously? Remember when they had squirt guns? It’s a group of guys no one cared about then they tried to push. There have been problems recently between Palumbo and Stasiak but Coach Kevin Nash smoothed things out. Anyway Nash can get a paycheck without taking a bump I guess. This match is still going between four of the blandest wrestlers in WCW. Palumbo accidentally kicks Stasiak, allowing Chavo to hit a DDT off the top for the win.
Shane Douglas and Torrie Wilson vs Konnan and Tygress
Konnan comes out to fight despite being injured earlier in a beatdown. Torrie comes out dressed as Wonder Woman. She’s also wrestling in heels. She could break an ankle! Tygress comes out without Konnan and says she will fight both of them. Douglas lays the boots to Tygress, because he’s a heel. Konnan finally comes out and double clotheslines Douglas and Torrie. This is apparently an intergender match as Tygress comes in and puts an armdrag on Douglas. Douglas punches Tygress and for some reason the announcers have a problem with it. How else was Douglas suppose to get out of the hold? After some awful action between Torrie and Tygress, Douglas comes back in. Tygress goes for the bronco buster but Torrie pulls Little Naitch down. Torrie hits Konnan with Douglas finisher. Tygress breaks it up and her and Konnan hit a Double Stuff buster for the win. Next.
DNA Match: Buff Bagwell vs David Flair
I’m only an hour into this show. Are we sure Russo isn’t around still? David Flair has two lab techs with him to test Bagwell’s blood to see if Stacy’s baby is his. This is apparently a first blood match. Bagwell mocks Flair early on when he rips off David’s shirt. Bagwell hits Flair over the head with a chair. David is busted open then eats a Blockbuster. The ref sees the blood and its over. Lex Luger comes out to celebrate with Buff then attacks him. Tony Schiavone: “How many times is Lex Luger going to turn on somebody in WCW?” At this point Tony why care anymore. Bagwell gets busted open going into the post, allowing David to get a DNA blood sample.
Kickboxing Match: Mike Sanders vs The Cat
This is for the Commissioner job of WCW. And for some reason we need a kickboxing match to figure out the winner. It takes 28 seconds to deliver a 10 count at one point in the second round. Palumbo and Stasiak are arguing in the corner. Shane Douglas comes out in between the 2nd and 3rd rounds. Douglas knocks The Cat out with his chain but Cat beats the count. The round ends but the match continues. Cat attacks Douglas on the outside, and gets counted out. So I guess you can get counted out in sudden death in a kickboxing match.
“That 70’s Guy” Mike Awesome vs Vampiro
Vampiro gets Awesome to put up his shot at the World Title the next night on Nitro. They go into the crowd. Awesome tosses Vampiro over the railing and into a poor female security guard. Vampiro takes someone’s cane and uses it. Then a drunk fan jumps on Awesome and Vampiro and Awesome both attack the guy, then casually walk back to the ring. Vampiro hits a weird armdrag off the top. Awesome hits a powerbomb on the floor. This match is just these two walking around for a bit then setting up a move. Awesome ends up hitting an Awesome Bomb off the top rope for the win. They show a replay and Vampiro’s head bounces hard off the mat as he needs help getting to the back.
United States Championship: Lance Storm (c) and Hacksaw Jim Duggan vs General Rection
Once again I ask, do we really want General Rection being the man to represent America? There isn’t a tag made as Hacksaw gets dumped and Storm comes in. Stevie Ray asks if this is a tornado tag match. He then says he is sick and tired of people coming near the announce table. Storm then dumps Rection to the outside. Stevie Ray asks why they call her Major Gunns. Team Canada slows the match down, building up the awful General Rection comeback. We get a ref bump. Major Gunns takes out Elix Skipper with a weak flag shot. Lance Storm confronts her. Rection hits a moonsault on Duggan for the win to become U.S. Champion and get Major Gunns back.
Jeff Jarrett vs Sting
Sting starts the match out on fire. Suddenly, a guy dressed like the old Sting comes out. But the current Sting hits a Scorpion Death Drop on the ramp on him. They brawl through the crowd, and its another Sting! This time its a Sting from when he won the Title at Great American Bash. This is not as cool as the Sting Army from 1997. What happens if the musician Sting comes out? Sting gets back to the ring and out comes Wolfpac Sting! Another Scorpion Death Drop for a bogus Sting. Jarrett hits the real Sting on the ramp with a baseball bat. Sting starts a comeback in the ring. Another bogus Sting comes up from the mat and pulls Sting down. But then the real Sting comes back up with the bogus Sting busted open. Here comes another Sting from the ceiling. He gets Scorpion Death dropped through the announce table. The second to last previous Sting comes back and uses a guitar. But Sting no sells it. Then Jarrett uses a guitar and gets the win. What the fuck was that. Are we sure Russo still isn’t booking?
WCW Championship: Booker T (c) vs Scott Steiner
Steiner attacks an agent in the back because he was suppose to be in the main event. For some reason WCW is still paying Michael Buffer to do ring entrances. After a minute of in ring work Steiner leaves to go jump the rail and challenge the fan. The fan bails like a little bitch. Back in the ring Midajah misses a trip spot as Booker goes into the ropes. They go back into the crowd. The security guards at the MGM Grand look like cage cashiers. They are suppose to protect the people from Scott Steiner? Steiner puts Booker through the new announce table. Stevie Ray is pissed, because it is the last table they had apparently. Steiner takes out Booker going for an ax kick. Booker starts a comeback. He goes to the top but Midajah is there this time to pull Booker down. Booker still hits a missile dropkick and an ax kick. Midajah hands Steiner the lead pipe and he uses it. Little Naitch gets put in the tree of woe in the corner. He takes out another ref then gets DQ’d. He takes out multiple security people.
Kronik vs Goldberg
I guess the DQ finish in the Title match caused this to be the main event. Ugh, Kronik in the main event. Kronik claims Goldberg isn’t cleared and they win by default. But the doctors tell Doug Dillinger that they cleared him. Kronik jumps Goldberg as he enters the ring. This looks more like a fight than a scripted match. Bryan Adams gets a table. Stevie Ray is pissed, because he thought they were out of tables. Clark gets speared through the table and pinned. But apparently Goldberg has to pin both of them. Adams gets some offense but Goldberg hits a Spear then Jackhammer for the win.
What an awful show. This wasn’t even trainwreck bad. This was bad wrestling, bad angles, bad storylines, bad everything. It basically looked like guys just being out there to get paid. There is nothing redeeming about this show in the slightest.
Until Next Time,
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