WWE RAW 6.3.19: Fool Me Twice, Strike Three

Roman Reigns came out to start RAW. I can’t believe Roman Reigns came over to RAW this week as part of the Wild Card rule! What a shock. And look, here comes Shane McMahon. I’m shocked again. Shane says he is going to shut Roman up. Shane also said he gets better with age. I would like to challenge that claim. Like a lot. Shane says maybe he will even apply the triangle choke to tap Roman out. Yeah okay. I wouldn’t tap out to that. I would just stare at Shane and laugh. Roman tells Shane to shut up. Yada yada yada. Roman says he will win this Friday and then beat Drew McIntyre at Stomping Grounds. So I guess we get that again.

Out comes McIntyre. I like the guy, but he cuts the same generic cookie cutter heel promo every week. It’s scripting 101. McIntyre says him and Shane will kick Roman’s ass without The Revival. But the Revival attack Roman from behind. Out come the Usos and we get the start of our six man tag.

So The Usos hit stereo dives into commercial but guess what? The heels are working over Jimmy Uso back from commercial. Michael Cole says the “very dangerous Shane McMahon is at ringside.” I’m pretty sure he is already blown up so I doubt that. Jimmy gets worked over the whole segment into commercial.

And this commercial break? We miss the hot tag as Roman is already in the ring. Shane knocks one of the Usos off the ropes. Roman comes over to get Shane but McIntyre hits a Claymore Kick. Everyone gets taken out on the outside as McIntyre hits a Claymore Kick on Jey Uso for the win. The heels take out Roman after the match. Shane is dripping with sweat. He’s sweating more than I did after my 5k this past weekend.

Matthew McConaughey and Lance Armstrong are in the crowd. When Matthew McConaughey is the best actor on this show you have a problem.

MizTV with Baron Corbin. Miz brings up Brock but Rollins says you can never believe what Paul Heyman and Brock Lesnar have to say. Rollins says he is focused on Baron Corbin and stomping Corbin’s head into the mat. Brock Lesnar and Paul Heyman arrive. But they don’t walk to the ring. Well alright alright alright.

The Lucha House Party comes out for a tag match. But out comes Lars Sullivan. The Lucha House Party actually sends him packing to the outside.

Alexa Bliss tells Nikki Cross she will be in her corner for her match against Peyton Royce later. Please turn Alexa into a reluctant babyface.

Becky Lynch promo. She said she became to complacent recently. But when Lacey helped Charlotte beat her for the Smackdown Women’s Title it pissed her off. Becky tells Lacey she will fight her anytime. Out comes Lacey. Lacey says the same thing she’s said the last few weeks and she will be the RAW Women’s Champion. Out comes Charlotte Flair. Lacey calls Charlotte a daddy’s girl that needs attention. Charlotte says last week she left Lacey laying. Lacey says Charlotte is yesterday’s news. Lacey tells Charlotte to run back to Smackdown. Lacey hits Charlotte with a right hand. They end up having a match.

Both women just start throwing hands. The crowd is chanting for Becky. This is seriously like an amateur wrestling match. I don’t know what they are doing. They are kind of doing the same thing back from commercial until Becky just says fuck it and beats both of them up. Thanks Becky.

Rey Mysterio is out to give up the US Title. Cole says it is one of the hardest things Rey has ever had to do. Really Cole? Giving up the secondary US Title is that bad. Okay. Samoa Joe interrupts Rey. Rey relinquishes the Title to Joe, but Joe locks in the Coqina Clutch. That just made Rey and the US Title look weak. You had two weeks to come up with that?

Braun beats Lashley in an arm wrestling match. Shenanigans follow as Lashley throws baby powder in Braun’s eyes.

Peyton Royce vs Nikki Cross. The crowd is dead for these poor women. It doesn’t help that Peyton is controlling the early part of this match. Alexa has coffee brought out. Peyton Royce knocks it out of her hand and then Alexa slips on it. Nikki hits Peyton with her finisher for the win. After the match Alexa dropkicks both of them. I guess she can take bumps again? Also, if someone knocked my morning coffee out of my hands I’d 1000% dropkick them just like Alexa Bliss did.

Seth Rollins comes out. Brock’s music plays but he doesn’t come out. Seth says if Brock really is a beast he would come out right now. Out comes Baron Corbin instead. Corbin calls himself the Dream Crusher. He’s not wrong there. Rollins tells Corbin if he wants his Title he will have to pry it from his cold dead hands. Corbin makes fun of Rollins. Rollins attacks Corbin. Rollins takes out Corbin with a dive. Brock’s music plays again. Corbin comes back in and hits the End of Days. Brock actually comes out and low blows Rollins. Brock then hits him with a chair. Brock hits a couple Germans than a F5 on the outside. Brock uses the chair and hits more German suplexes back in the ring. He then tells Heyman Friday, so Brock is cashing in at Super Showdown. Brock beats down Seth a bit more before leaving.

Becky goes into the ambulance with Seth. I guess they are an on screen couple now too.

FireFly Funhouse. Bray is working out with his friend Huskus the Pig. Then a Vince McMahon puppet comes in and tells them to get his act together. Then Bray does a 80s like video workout routine called the muscle man dance. I have no idea what I’m watching. I’m just laughing hard.

Triple H and Randy Orton have a face to face. I could care less what they said. In 2019 no one should care about this program. Orton made a line about Triple H retrieving his balls from Stephanie’s purse. HHH says Orton never had any. Sooooo edgy.

Ricochet vs Cesaro. Ricochet hits a nice hurricarrana in the ring. He goes for a running run off the barricade but he slightly stumbles. He then hits a moonsault off the second rope. Guess what? Cesaro has Ricochet in a headlock back from break. Cesaro hits the post on a charge but then catches Ricochet with an uppercut. Cesaro follows it up with a superplex from the apron. We get a couple of nice counters but Cesaro ends up swinging Ricochet. Cesaro hits an uppercut for two. Ricochet follows up with some knees. A couple more near falls and Ricochet picks up the win. Cesaro attacks Ricochet after the match. He pulls out a table but R-Truth is on it. All the geeks come out and chase after Truth. Carmella superkicks Drake Maverick.

Undertaker comes out. We got less than five minutes Taker, lets pick up the pace of that walk. Taker says he wants the unstoppable, mythical icon that is Goldberg. And if he brings anything less, their first match will be his last. Taker says he will claim Goldberg’s soul and he is next.

Until Next Time,

Justin C

Follow Me On Twitter @JCWonka

 

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