7.1.19: Raw Live Reactions

I’m back, and we’re starting this week off with a match, right out of the gate! Raw opens tonight with a Falls Count Anywhere match between Braun Strowman and Bobby Lashley. We’ve got hustle from the second the bell rings and I’m liking what I’m seeing so far. Can’t help but wonder if this is thanks to Paul Heyman or the low attendance over the last few weeks. Either way, it’s a great change of pace.

Out into the crowd now, and these guys aren’t holding anything back. We’ve got some hard hits, chair shots, and Braun barreling through Lashley like a charging bull. And now he hurls him onto the stage, like he weighs next to nothing. Lashley gets some steam and hits a pretty awesome suplex. Pin attempt but Braun kicks out at two.

Holy…crap. Braun and Lashley go THROUGH the LED screen and the entire thing explodes. Corey Graves just let out a HOLY SHIT and I can’t help but wonder if this stunt went incredibly wrong somehow. Both guys are down, Lashley is flipping around like he took one hell of a shock. They’ve pushed the cameras out and there are a ton of EMTs, Refs, and various stage crew around.

The crowd apparently thinks this is all a work, because they’re chanting and counting a ten count. None of the commentary team have said a word. Guys, I feel like this is legit. They just cut away to commercial without a word.

We’re back and the crowd is chanting “Thank You Heyman.” They’re stretchering Lashley into the ambulance. Cole sounds sincere right now, so I don’t know what to think. This is definitely a Heyman-esque stunt, but…I don’t know. Corey sounds pretty distraught and Renee hasn’t said a word. I really feel like a stunt went terribly wrong here tonight, but at the same time, if this was a real accident I would imagine they wouldn’t be filming this entire scene. Time will tell.

Moving on to tag team action. Viking Raiders come to the ring as we go to break.

Back from break just in time for Big E to scream us into the match. The LEDs are up and running again, despite a gaping hole in them. Viking Raiders are off to a strong start, as Xavier plays the trombone.

Samoa Joe comes out of nowhere to attack Xavier and now Kofi is out to defend his brother. Guess this is turning into a six man tag now. Find out after the break.

Back again and shock of all shocks…it’s a six man tag now. I’m so surprised. I never saw this coming. /sarcasm

We’re playing the beat up Xavier game now, as the Vikings and Joe take turns working him over. I’m honestly over this match. This show was off to a strong start and it’s already starting to lose momentum. A couple pretty good high risk spots and now Joe has Kofi in the Coquina Clutch and that’s the match. Kofi goes to sleep and Joe picks up the W.

Joe stalks up the ramp and we get word we’ve got another 2 out of 3 falls match tonight, this time between Miz and Elias.

After a quick recap of Drake losing the #JOBSquad title at his wedding, we’re in the back with Drake and his new wife. She’s pissed at him for taking her to Raw for their honeymoon and accuses him of loving the title more than her. He assures her that isn’t the case and they go in for a hug…and of course Truth shows up at that exact moment. I still hate this title, but I’ll be damned if Truth doesn’t make it entertaining.

Off to break we go.

We come back to Gallows and Anderson having a chat in the back. AJ comes in and starts critiquing them again. I’m still salty that Finn Balor isn’t part of this Bullet Club reunion.

Outisde, No Way Jose makes his way to the ring with Adam Rose’s conga line…R Truth bringing up the rear to taunt Drake, who is in the crowd with his wife. Cesaro is in the ring looking less than thrilled. Truth gets chased off by the #JOBSquad and Cesaro dumps Jose out of the ring. He knocks him out and takes off. Okay, then.

Charlie introduces the Street Profits, which would be epic if WWE didn’t screw up and accidentally show them earlier in the night. I’m…really not a fan of these two. At all. Don’t we have enough hokey gimmicks already?

Shane and Drew take a stroll through the back as we go to another break.

Back to the show, with an update on Braun and Bobby, which is that we have no update yet. Cut to the back and we’ve got Miz giving an interview. He really is one of the best talkers this show has ever had.

Shane comes out with Drew, thus beginning the “Shane and Drew Waste an Hour” segment of our show. I can’t wait to hear Drew recite his favorite monologue while Shane acts like a male peacock during mating season.

Pretty sure I just fell asleep with my eyes open. Taker’s tolling bells brought me back. It’d be hilarious if he came through the hole in the screen. Ah, there he is. Thanks for taking your sweet time there, old man. I love Taker, but this entire segment is just killing whatever momentum this episode started off with. They need to save the eight minute intros for special occasions.

Oh look, the Deadman speaks! I did miss a good Undertaker promo. Too bad this isn’t one. It’s like listening to an old man in a nursing home, reliving his glory days.

I’d say thank God that’s over, but we cut to the back where Baron is creepily watching Lacey smear her mouth with lipstick.

Taker is literally still wandering his old ass up the ramp. Did he get lost on the way or something? Can we get someone to help Grandpappy out?

Yet another commercial break.

We return to Lacey vs. Natalia Hart, with Baron at ringside. Becky and Seth look on from the back and I am so sick of them being referred to as “Becky and her boyfriend”.

This match is decent, but sloppy. Some good back and forth, Baron interferes, and Lacey picks up the win.

In the back, we’ve got Ricochet hanging out with the long lost Raw tag champs. Charlie interrupts to interview Ricochet. Gallows and Anderson pop in to talk smack.

Miz is on his way to the ring, right after our hundredth commercial break.

Back again and Gallows and Anderson are talking smack to AJ again. It appears they’re trying to bring out angry!Allen. He stomps over to Ricochet, who is doing yoga, and confronts him, challenging him to a match for the title. They bitchslap each other and AJ storms off.

SERIOUSLY Miz? SERIOUSLY?! You have to interrupt Elias before he can even say hello?! Rude, sir. So rude.

Miz gets a quick pin after Elias tries to blindside him outside the ring. He’s fired up and Elias is struggling to his feet. Elias seems tired and off pace tonight, but Miz is on fire. Elias hits the Driftaway and gets the second fall. One to go…right after more ads.

We return to the match and Miz has the upperhand for half a second before Elias takes over. All the momentum from the first two falls is gone and we’re pretty much at a standstill now. The crowd looks dead. Miz gets the figure four in after Elias runs knee-first into the ring post and picks up the win.

Coming up next, an interview with Becky and Seth…right after more ads.

Back at it, starting off with a recap of stomping grounds before Becky and Seth’s interview. This is awkward. So awkward. They’re such dorks. Maria Kanellis shows up and makes it even more awkward with her talk of birth and babies. Now her husband is here, bouncing his manboobs. Guess we’re having a mixed match tonight.

Oh good another break.

We come back to an update on Lashley and Braun. Lashley is up and comfortable in the hospital. Braun may have a ruptured spleen.

Time for a mixed tag match that is sure to be awkward and all kinds of sloppy. The Man’s Man comes out first, followed by The Man.

Yep, this is totally awkward. Needless to say, Becky and Seth pick up the win.

And we make it more awkward with Maria berating her husband after the match.

Oh hi there, Paul Heyman! Ugh, the Street Profits again. Make them go away.

My favorite Odd Couple, Nikki and Alexa, are on their way to the ring for a special edition of A Moment of Bliss…right after these messages!

Alexa comes out first and introduces her very best friend Nikki. They really are adorable together.

Aaaaaand here comes Carmella. Shouldn’t she be babysitting Truth? I guess she’s taking a break from babysitting so she can challenge Alexa. The match is over before it starts when Carmella rolls Alexa up into a pin the second the bell rings. That was pointless, but whatever. I’ll stew about it during the break.

Oh, okay then. Now it’s Nikki’s turn to take on Carmella. Nikki picks up the win and Alexa celebrates like it was her three count.

AJ vs Ricochet, after break number 78936.

In the back, we see Nikki and Alexa celebrating when we find out that the WWE universe wants Nikki to face Bayley instead of Alexa. Alexa is not happy.

Drake and his wife walk by and wifey ducks out to use the facilities as the #JOBSquad tears by. Truth stops for a breather and Drake fakes him out before getting the pin. He takes off with his wife and his title. Sorry, Truth.

AJ makes his way to the ring, fired up and throwing the Too Sweet. Ricochet comes out next, rubbing his face where AJ slapped him earlier. And we go to another break.

Main event time, finally. These two work so well together, and their matches are so fun to watch. Lots of high risk and get momentum throughout.

AJ gets the pin and the title, but Ricochet’s foot was under the rope. Now we’ve got refs in the ring discussing the botch. They’ll sort their lives out while we sit through another round of commercials.

As expected, the match has been restarted. Gallows and Anderson are at ringside now, watching as Ricochet tries to get the upperhand. They’re nonstop back and forth, one high risk move after another. AJ goes for the pin but Ricochet kicks out. The Good Brothers are circling the ring, looking like they’re up to something.

Ricochet picks up the win off of an awesome sequence and AJ looks shocked/disappointed. They shake hands and I fully expect AJ to go for a cheap shot. Gallows and Anderson push buttons outside the ring, and…there it is. Styles unleashes on Ricochet before calling his boys in to further the attack.

So, there you have it, folks. AJ delivers a styles clash to Ricochet from the second rope. “The Club” is back together. I will never not be salty that WWE conveniently forgot to include Finn in this. I mean, he only started the damn Bullet Club in Japan. No big deal.

That’s it for this week, guys and gals.

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