WWE Monday Night Raw Live Reactions: 7.15.2019

Happy Monday, boys and girls! Welcome to another episode of “How Pissed off is Mick with WWE?” The answer, in case you were wondering, is 100% pissed off. The reason? That horrible ending to Extreme Rules last night. There are not enough words to explain how much I detest Brock Lesnar.

Moving on. Tonight, Raw comes to us live from my hometown: Long Island, NY. Right off the bat, Lesnar and Paul Heyman come out to ruin my Monday even further. As announced earlier in the day, we’ll have a ten man battle royal tonight to decide who faces Lesnar at Summerslam. I’m going to go ahead and assume Rollins wins, because why not continue to beat a dead horse?

I’m actually shocked at the pop Roman Reigns got when he was named. #Sheeple

For the record? It’s ON Long Island. Not IN. You cannot live IN an island. Biggest freaking pet peeve.

This promo has gone on way too long. I’m over it. I love Paul Heyman but we’re dragging this out to the point of boredom.

Oh thank God. Ricochet is out before they even leave the ring. Lesnar looks offended by this.

Back from our first break and we’re getting ready for a six man, 2 out of 3 falls (ugh), tag. It’s going to be The Revival and Robert Roode facing off against Ricochet and The Uso’s. As weird as these pairings are, I’m here for it. Right from the bell we’ve got action and Ricochet picks up the first fall in a couple seconds. Robert comes in and Ricochet continues to dominate. He tags in Jey, who spends too much time showboating and gets pinned for a two count. Dash tags in and continues to beat on Jey.

Jey tags in Jimmy, who showboats more than his brother, but turns the momentum back to the faces. Dawson tags himself in and picks up the second fall. Of course we can’t just go into the third fall. Nope, we’re going to commercials!

We’re back and it appears we didn’t miss much. The Revival are still dominating over Jimmy. Madness ensues and Ricochet is the legal man along with Roode. He hits the 630 and picks up the win. They celebrate in the ring as The Club appear. Ricochet flies (literally) out of the ring at Styles, and now we’ve got a massacre happening. The Uso’s are giving out superkicks like they’re Oprah. Roode and The Revival beat them down but Ricochet takes all three of them out. Styles hits a gorgeous Phenomenal Forearm and now Ricochet is down for the count.

I absolutely love that we’re making The Club a thing again. AJ is amazing as a heel and his debut several years ago with Gallows and Anderson was a highlight for me and many others. Now if we could just get Finn Balor to lead them…

Looks like we’ll have another tag match after the break. The Viking Raiders are ready to roll.

Back from break as The Viking Raiders make their way to the ring. They’re once again facing some local indy jobbers and I don’t get it. There are so many unused tag teams on the roster. Why are we not using them? Viking Raiders win. Shock.

Earlier today, Drew McIntyre looking like a snack comes along a noisy locker room. Cedric Alexander, Street Profits, No Way Jose, and Finn are having a good old time, which Drew interrupts. He cuts his same old stale promo on Cedric. Apparently these guys will have a match later tonight.

We’ve just spent about five minutes rehashing last week’s events involving Cedric Alexander. The bell rings and Drew Snackintyre is immediately on a tear. Cedric uses his high flyer skills to turn things around but it doesn’t last long. Drew beats him up some more and thinks about doing some kind of high risk move but gets kicked out of the air by Cedric. Cedric pulls off an amazing upset by reversing an attempted Alabama slam and no one looks more shocked than he does.

Recap of Shinsuke taking the title from Balor last night, leading into Finn being moody in the back. We’ve got some shades of heel!Finn coming out, which gives me hope for the future. Apparently he’s taking two months off after Summerslam, I assume to plan for his upcoming wedding, so hopefully we’ll get Heel!Finn when he comes back.

Samoa Joe has some snappy comeback for Finn and then stomps out to the ring as we go to break.

Back from break, and instead of Finn’s entrance, we get a recap of Heyman and Lesnar from the start of the show. We also get an interview with Roman Reigns.

Oh, there he is. Hi, Finn. The bell rings and we’re getting right into it. Finn gets some good offense in on Joe, who manages to get the pin in like two minutes. He continues to beat on Finn and goes for the Cocina Clutch. Finn reverses it and hits some moves on Joe, getting the final word.

Finn’s music skids to a halt as all the lights go out, and holy crap please let this be Bray Wyatt.

There’s some scuffling in the dark and when the lights come back IT’S BRAY WYATT. That mask is seriously amazing nightmare fuel and I love it. He hits a Sister Abigail on Finn and we go to break with the sounds of maniacal laughter. I am STOKED right now.

Coming back from break, we’ve got Drake and his wife checking into a hotel, under the name “Mr. and Mrs. 24/7 Champion.” Truth slips out from behind a wall with a ref. He tries to bribe the hotel clerk into telling him what room Hornswaggle is in. The Street Profits are watching this from a monitor in the back. I really don’t like these guys.

It wouldn’t be a Long Island show without a Zack Ryder appearance. He’s taking on Mike Kanellis…who is…being replaced by his wife Maria? The ref stops her and Mike promises he’s got this. We all know he won’t got this. Ryder wins in about ten seconds. Maria is pissed.

Someone has dubbed tonight “Tag Team Night” because when we come back from break we’ll have a six man tag, featuring The Club.

The Club is fighting Lucha House Party. Alrighty, then. Should be an interesting match up, but I don’t see the Luchas taking the win on this one.

Ricochet outta nowhere to attack AJ Styles. He’s going to town on AJ, and the refs run out to break them up as we go to break.

Back, and everything is back under control. Gallows and Anderson are still running this match. Kalisto gets in the ring and suddenly the tides are changing. The Luchas get a leg up on The Club, but it doesn’t matter. Gallows and Anderson take over again and now it’s AJ in the ring with a half dead Kalisto. He puts the Calf Crusher on him and picks up the win for The Club.

We go to the back after a recap of last night, and are treated to an interview with Seth Rollins. He says he’s a man on a mission, and then fanboys over his girlfriend, Becky Lynch. He’s angry and ready for a fight tonight.

It’s time for the women’s fatal four way. Out first are Alexa and Nikki, my favorite oddcouple. Carmella comes out next and I feel the need to point out that she needs to lay off the tanner. Naomi’s next, bringing the glow to the Coliseum. Last up is Natalya, who is struggling to stay relevant. Becky has also decided to grace us with her presence tonight. She looks pretty banged up after last night.

Off to break we go.

I’ve missed this entire match because of cat drama, but it appears Alexa has eliminated Carmella. Naomi is now beating on Alexa. Natalya is laid out on the side of the ring at the feet of Becky.

Everyone is on the ground as we go to another break.

This match has been pretty boring, honestly. I expected more out of these four. The crowd seems like they’re not into it, either. Natalya gets Naomi into a surfboard and Alexa attempts a pin. The crowd isn’t even really reacting anymore, aside from a Becky chant. It seems pretty clear that Alexa is going to win this match. And now we have a “This is awful” chant. I agree, Long Island.

We’re down to Alexa and Natalya as we come back from break. The crowd is over this and so am I. Nikki has grabbed a mic and tried to get some kind of crowd reaction. It’s working. They’ve started a pretty aggressive You Suck chant.

…wow, Natalya won via submission. Didn’t see that coming. She tries to cut a promo, tripping all over herself, and Becky interrupts. Thank you, Becky.

Well, that was decidedly better than I expected it to be. This may wind up being a decent feud if the writers can control it properly.

Off to break, and when we come back it’ll be to an episode of MizTV with special guest Dolph Ziggler.

YOU.ARE.ON.LONG.ISLAND.MIZ.

The back and forth between these two is so fluid and natural, thanks in part to their real life friendship. This is probably my favorite part of the show so far. This is the kind of promo that Dolph needs to give him actual direction. More of this, please.

Back at the hotel, Drake is prepping the bed to consummate his marriage. I can’t wait for Truth to pin him in bed. We’ll find out after the break.

Back to Drake and his wife. He’s literally on the bed wearing nothing but the belt and I am traumatized. Wifey opens the door for room service to bring in some champagne. The room service guy is a ref in disguise, which means Truth is under the cart. This whole thing is a hot mess but Truth gets his belt back. That was ridiculous.

Main event will be up after the next round of ads.

Here we go. First out is Big E, gyrating all over the place. Sami Zayn follows him out. Rollins is next, looking anxious. Lashley follows him out, torso all wrapped up. Mysterio is next, followed by Baron. Seth looks ready to murder him. Roman is next, and the sheeple cheer. Cesaro is next, with Randy Orton right behind. Braun brings up the rear, looking in far better condition than Bobby after their match last night.

Aaaand here comes Lesnar with Heyman and a folding chair. I guess he wants a front row seat to this match. We’ll get the bell after one last break.

Alright, here we go. Rollins immediately goes after Baron, who tosses him over the top rope. He manages to roll back into the ring without touching the floor. Lashley is all over Braun, Cesaro is running through everyone, with no signs of stopping. Now Rey’s going for a spin. Cesaro gets thrown from the ring by Lashley, which sucks. Braun tosses Lashley out, and I’m not mad about it. Big E faces off with Braun, talking a whole lotta smack.

Big E just picked up Braun like he was nothing and gets an RKO from Randy for his efforts. Sami eliminates Big E, but Randy is right behind him with another RKO. Rey hits the 6-1-9 and Randy tosses Sami out. Rey hits a 6-1-9 on Roman with an assist from Randy. He gets tossed by Baron, who has a bloodthirsty Rollins waiting for him. He’s about to be destroyed by Rollins, Reigns, and Strowman. Rollins gets the credit for tossing him out.

Braun takes over the match now, steamrolling through Roman and Seth. Roman goes for a spear and takes out Rollins by accident. Braun tries to toss Roman out, but Roman turns it around. Seth knocks them both out, but Randy comes out of nowhere to toss Seth. Seth survives another attempt to be eliminated and now they battle on both sides of the ropes. The crowd is going insane for Randy, who hits a DDT to Rollins.

Man, I would love Randy vs. Brock at Summerslam.

He goes for an RKO but Seth hits the stomp and tosses him out. As expected, it’s going to be yet another round of Seth vs. Brock for the title. I love Seth, but I am so over this feud.

Paul cuts a promo on Seth, who grabs a mic to shoot back at him. He’s fired up but Paul and Brock look unphased. Rollins calls him out, daring him to come into the ring for a fight, and we go off the air as Brock denies the offer.

That’s it for this week, folks. I’ll be gone the next two weeks on vacation. Don’t miss me too much!

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